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It's all over, but what's over for?

Sunday, December 04, 2011

Just when you think the party starting.

After three years.
Lots of amazingly good times.
Confusing at times, emotionally destructive at others, and breathtakingly beautiful at others still.

The sig-o and I got together a year out of college. Both new and breaking into our industries, mutual friends encouraging us, we fell in love.
The next year was spot on perfect, getting to know each other to the point of seeming psychicly in tune to the other.
Then his work announced they were closing the studio.
Then he took a job in New Zealand, and wasn't sure if he was ready for me to be there with him the entire time. Instead, we planned for me to visit him for 3 months.
When he left for NZ, I got serious about dropping the weight. I knew I wouldn't get a visa at the current size, and wanted us to be able to be together.
I made it, but after the three months, he still wasn't sure he was ready for that commitment.
I came home.
I gained weight.
6 months later, he came home. His contract wasn't renewed. He was disappointed in himself, and felt like a failure. I strummed away at my own career, avoiding much advancement beyond a better paycheck. Avoiding moving away, despite his encouragement that it would 'be good for me' to move away.
3 months he's been home, living in his parent's house. He helped his dad out with his business, and did some odd jobs, but wasn't happy. He felt burnt out and unsure of the future.
I wanted him to make a choice.
He stressed, and broke down.
And left me, on the premise that he was 'too young to commit' and frankly, my additional poundage was quite unattractive to him.

3 years of him saying 'you should wear this', and it looking awful. 3 years of 'grow your hair out, I like it long'. It got long, and boring. 3 years of feeling his internal frustration pushed upon me unfairly.

In the end, I shed a few tears. I think I part of me wanted him to come back. Most of me was glad to be out from under his cloud. Out from his shadow.
Tired of introducing myself as "The Girlfriend", as if there was nothing more in me.

So I said ___This.
And chopped my hair off.


And I joined Team in Training, and am now training for a half marathon in March.

In the end, I'm me. I'm awesome. 2012? Gunna be the best year yet.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CHANGING-TURTLE
    GREAT HAIR CUT. YOU GO GIRL NO MAN SHOULD TELL YOU WHAT TO DO ABOUT YOUR OWEN BODY. YOU ARE BETTER OFF WITH OUT HIM!!

    emoticon emoticon
    3377 days ago
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