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Thursday, December 15, 2011

Today was a good day. I am back on track and taking no crap! Back to being careful with my food intake! Some things really help.

1) Keeping a lot of food in the house. This makes me eat more veggies because I don't want them to spoil. It keeps me from feeling deprived because I have lots of choices, and it keeps me from making last-minute food choices based on cravings.

2) Eating food with lots of flavour, so I feel full and satisfied.

3) Eating food with a high water content. This reminds me of my friend JITZUROE's blog about eating food that 'piddles' on her plate. I read a Spark article that said while drinking water is important, eating food with water in it will really fill you up…. Exciting, no? I feel so good when I eat a lot of soups and salads and fresh fruits and veggies.

4) Having low-calorie treats. Again, if I'm not feeling deprived, I'll stick to the plan.

5) Tracking my food often through the day, not just one time at the end of the day. If I leave it too long, I forget things. It might just be a cup of cottage cheese and some raspberries, but it's still a few hundred calories

6) Keeping my eyes on the prize! It's so easy to lose motivation, especially when you've been sparking for a while and it's lost its newness! I have two time-specific goals that are keeping me super-duper inspired.

a) I will be smoking hot by next Halloween. I've always wanted to wear one of those semi-slutty costumes that so many girls wear. Next Halloween, I want to dress as Wonder Woman or something equally rad. Maybe not Wonder Woman, because that costume would be chilly -- and, really, too revealing for me. I say I want to dress slutty, but I'm actually a bit of a prude! But I want a sexy costume, dang it! Hot by Halloween!!!!! It's a good goal.

b) I will lose 25 pounds by my birthday in May. This one is scary, because it's so specific and will require a real commitment. But when I really focus, I tend to lose about 6 pounds a month. I did it when I went from 280 to 240 a couple of years ago -- 40 pounds in six months. Then I gained back ten pounds over a year and a half.

Then I went from 250 to 215 -- 35 pounds in five months. So now I have confessed my weight, something that is really scary but also somewhat liberating. I'm a really private person. There is no one in my life, dear Spark friends, who knows these numbers. (In case you are interested, I am 5'7" and a size 16. Now you know.)

When I lose 25 pounds I will no longer have an 'obese' BMI. So basically, what I want for my birthday is an 'overweight' BMI!

I'm not sure I can post this. The thought makes me a little queasy. But I want to blog more, because it really helps to let it out. I held back because I felt like my blogs needed to be interesting or upbeat or something. But that's just crap. Even though other people can read what I write, and I value the comments and sympathy and the compassion and understanding, these blogs are ultimately about searching my soul and expressing my truth. So I'll just lay it on the line and put it out there, embarrassed and quivering with fear though I may be.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • THINRONNA
    I love your goals and your plan! I do the same thing with blogging...worry about being boring or not being upbeat. Lets not worry about that. I think blogging is good. We will blog about what we want when we want to! Deal? emoticon
    3128 days ago
  • VALERIEMAHA
    I'm so glad you shared more of who you are, you beautiful being you! We're an amazing community, and I believe you became convinced that you could make yourself even more vulnerable with this community, because you see the sense of shared goals and commonality of purpose. Thank you for this trust.

    This is my gift back to you:

    http://www.youtube.com/
    watch?v=bfHetysIPnI&feature=sha
    re

    Bowing in gratitude,
    Maha
    3129 days ago
  • ADVENTURESEEKER
    Woohoo! We're a lot alike in some ways- similar height, age, not wanting temting foods around, and shy about posting our weight. You can do it!! Oooh, I also want to wear a slutty outfit for Hallowe'en emoticon emoticon
    3129 days ago
  • MUSICALLYMINDED
    Wonder Woman is also my "slutty" costume wish for next Halloween. And I think revealing your weight is fine! If you can't say it here, where can you say it? And I have never been prouder to say, "I weigh 243 pounds". It sounds a helluva lot better than "I weigh 303 pounds" so I will SHOUT it from the rooftops!
    3129 days ago
  • CANNIE50
    "Hot by Halloween" - it sounds like a SParkteam. Yes, it is lovely to be "merely" overweight. I was so happy when I put "obese" to bed. Your tips are good ones. I am glad you blogged, I have missed hearing how you are doing. Obesity thrives on isolation so it is good that you blogged despite your hesitation. Blogging has made a big impact on my weight loss though I seem to be in premature maintenance mode. I am thinking of you emoticon
    3130 days ago
  • TMCLEOD4
    Maybe we can be twins next Halloween! I'll be Wonder Woman 2!!
    3131 days ago
  • KALIGIRL
    So glad you shared - you goal is fantastic and you have given yourself plenty of time to reach it. You're changing your eating habits for the better and your attitude is super.
    emoticon
    3131 days ago
  • CROOKEDLETTER
    I wanted to leave a comment last night, but I was blurry eyed and couldn't think straight (for good reasons).

    Kudos for brave writing. Kudos for making sure you have what you need in terms of food to succeed. Kudos for paying attention to what works for you! Kudos for fun goals like wearing the smoking hot Halloween costume. Kudos for a great birthday gift of a healthy BMI.

    I think you can rock the Wonder Woman look- she just looks like she's half naked, but when you add the tights (which you'd have to 'cause I imagine it's cold up there in October) and the high waisted bottoms and the seeming to be revealing but really not top and the arm bands and a cape (you have to have a cape) and the boots- a good chuck of flesh is covered. A cape is good 'cause you can flash your sexiness now and again but cover up when you're feeling more nervous.

    Sending lots of good wishes your way this December day!
    3131 days ago
  • BILLTMAN
    Congratulations. Keep on keeping on.

    3131 days ago
  • LIBELULITA
    Well done...you had the fear and did it anyway!!! And,of course, you know that you haven't written anything shocking for any of us.We've all been there or are hoping to get to where you WERE,let alone where you ARE emoticon .

    You've taken a big step and that will liberate you to be able to share anything you want.It's not all about trying to motivate or console others.It's about allowing others to reach out to you too.I too have confessed things in my blogs that I've never tols anyone and I really feel that it has helped free me from the clutches of my demons (especially the chocolate demon emoticon ).

    Well done for being so brave and can't wait to see the photos of you looking ever so sexy and very slightly prudish next halloween hahahaha!!!! emoticon emoticon
    3131 days ago
  • SLIMLILA
    emoticon Incredible Blog! Loved it...I'm only 5'2" and 208 in a Sz. 16 and I was feeling pretty good about that, now I know that's where others are too... I used to be a Sz. 22, so been there too, not had the success you've had of late, but we can still do it.. emoticon
    3131 days ago
  • SUNFLOWERSAVAGE
    You are Wonder Woman! It was really courageous of you to post this blog. I'm glad you did.
    I know you can make your goals. You have a great plan.

    I also need to have good food around to keep on track. Blogging helps me too. I haven't been blogging as much and I am having a harder time.

    Stay strong my friend!

    emoticon
    3131 days ago
  • MPLONDKE
    You can hang in there with me. I'm aiming for 30 pounds by my 30th birthday in May. I'm also loving your hot by Halloween objective.
    3131 days ago
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