"Little" Ol' Me
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
So here's my first blog. I am writing this for me more than anything. I have had such a horrible attitude lately and I want to change that. One way I have always found to bannish a bad mood is to talk it out. Maybe my venting will hit home with someone and make them feel a little better too.
So here goes:
I feel ashamed of myself sometimes for feeling so down in the dumps when I should be grateful for all of the blessings that have been given to me this year. So then I try to figure out why I am so down in the dumps and I can never really come up with an answer. So then I get madder at myself for being all mopey for no good reason. My husband comes home from work and asks me why I look so sad and I really can't think of a reason.
For goodness sake, I have this brand new kidney, doing all the things a kidney is supposed to do. My goodness I haven't had that in more than 10 years! I don't have to sit around attached to a machine for 3 hours a day watching all my blood leave and re-enter my body! If we want to jump in the car and go on a road trip we can. Great Hubby, great dog, Great job. Life is pretty good, right?
I could just blame it on depression, difficulty adjusting to my new found freedom. I have no idea what to do with all this free time now. I got so used to being tied down that I think I must have forgotten how to LIVE! But I don't like the word depressed. Its just so depressing. I've always been such a positive person. I have rarely had reason to be positive, but I have always managed to maintain that optomistic attitude. Glass half full girl, that was me.
Even with my weight. I always had a pretty good body image. I always thought I was sexy and attractive. But lately, I can't hardly even stand to look at myself. My husband is a sweetie and is always telling me I look good. His nick name for me is Prettiest Girl, even after being married for 4 years! He likes my curves and just wants me to be healthy. Now I get up in the morning and dread having to find something to wear because all of my clothes are too small. And can't afford to buy new ones! So weekends come around and I just don't even feel like getting dressed.
So in short, my big motivation at this point is to get my positive attitude back! I feel like a slug and I don't like feeling like a slug!
Get to the grocery store
Meal Plan for the rest of the week
Eat something healthy for dinner
Stay tuned. Hopefully future blogs will be less mopey and more peppy!