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A Body Epiphany

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Wednesday, January 18, 2012

I learned (or was it more like, "decided") to love my shape a while back (see this blog for that story: www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
)....and I really have made so many strides in that area. However (there's always a however, isn't there?) I still kept thinking, I love my shape.....now if only I could get my SIZE where I want it. Then it hit me today as I was driving along, anticipating tonight's birthday celebration for my FIL, and stressing over the thought of eating birthday cake. STRESSING OVER BIRTHDAY CAKE?!?! How insane is that? Yet I know for a fact that MANY of you can relate to this exercise in absurdity.

What exactly was it that "hit me", you ask? Hold tight, cuz here it is:

I am not a fitness model.

I will never have the body of a fitness model - not because it's not possible for me, not because of genetics, not because I'm too old, not because I don't have the ability to work that hard. None of that. I will never have the body of a fitness model because I do not have the willingness to eat and/or train like a fitness model. (Note to my fitness-model friends: I love and admire you and am happy for you, as long as you are happy. I simply have no desire to live the way I would need to live to be you.)

My body is what it is because I eat healthy a lot of the time, yet I enjoy a glass of wine/cocktail or three from time to time. My body is what it is because I work out HARD 3-7 times a week, but I refuse to spend more than an hour at a time, and most days it's 30 minutes or less. My body is what it is because I eat tons of fruits and veggies, but I also love my sweets. My body is what it is because I practice portion control most days, but give in to overeating on holidays (because it's gonna be a while before all those goodies are on the same table again). My body is what it is because I care deeply about my health, but I also care about pleasure and fun and living like a normal human being.

My body is not perfect, but it is beautiful. My body is firm and lean some places, softer and rounder other places. My body is in the "overweight" range on the BMI chart, yet I turn heads in a bikini.

I am sexy because I am fit and healthy even though I will never be called skinny. I am sexy because I am confident in some ways...and yes, vulnerable and insecure in others. That makes me real, and real is sexy. I am sexy because I enjoy life and all of its sensual pleasures (yes, including amazing desserts). :: Side note: A million years ago, I dated a bodybuilder guy who ordered 2 broiled skinless chicken breasts, a salad with no dressing, and plain oatmeal every time we went out to a restaurant. So NOT sexy. I'm just sayin. ::

I believe that the key to life is balance. And my body reflects that. And I think that's pretty effin cool.

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