It's tough but I am trying!!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
So my journey is the same as most everyone else's. I am overweight...I want to not be overweight! It sounds so simple but it has been leading up to this moment for 20+ years. 3 big babies later (2-10lbs & an 8lb) and lots of broken relationships has just kept adding the pounds on top of each other. I am determined to lose the weight I want to and I am determined to have my kids see the difference and make sure they keep on track so they are not forced to face this reality when they are about to be 44!!
I am a very happy person normally and just last night my sister and I were talking and she said "I don't understand how you have low self-esteem. Your life was never to hard as a kid (agreed) and nothing crazy has happened to you over the years (not so agreed). How do you not have more self-respect and self-esteem?" I said "well, if I knew the answer to that - I might have more!!" But I seriously believe the answer is that I just didn't think it was going to happen to me. I never had to watch what I ate when I was growing up, I had/have a great personality and I was not too hard on the eyes. So what did happen?? I guess I thought that would all carry me through and as the weight kept coming on and staying, it just became the normal. I am admittedly on the lazy side. I just decided that was okay.
Now here I am writing all this down in the hopes that it will keep me going on my path to being happy with my entire person...not just some aspects. I want to be able to wear cute clothes and be embarassed by the things I do that are silly - not because I am fat and people won't only be looking at how silly I am but how fat my stomach is! That does tend to keep me from jumping out there and being myself (happy-go-lucky and more than willing to act goofy (as long as no one is looking at my belly)).
So there you have it - today I am down 7lbs towards my ultimate goal and I feel better than I ever have. I am working out daily and this week I did a Zumba class, a Diva Dance class and played Volleyball...honestly that is more than I have done in the past 5 years combined!! I just need to keep it going and keep my eye on the prize...A Happy Healthy Life and Happy Healthy Relationships (friends and family)! Wish me luck and stay tuned!! :)
I love this saying: "Life is not about a journey to the grave with intentions of arriving safely in a pretty, well-preserved body. It is to skid in sideways, completely used up and worn out, yelling loud WOW!! What a Ride!!!"