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Pre-Diabetic? Pre-Depression...

Thursday, January 19, 2012

It's funny, but all this time I've been worried about my child and her weight and sugar intake, and my friend Linda. I went on this quest to support Linda, but also, I would not have found Wheat Belly if I wasn't researching causes of obesity all the time.

And here I am... high triglycerides (which is sugar intake-related) and high HbA1c...

Now, it can count up to 12 weeks in your past, and my lower-carb lifestyle didn't kick in until mid-to-late November. That's just 8 weeks ago. During that exact same period, I had just begun being really ill and ended up on antibiotics for 18 days. That raises sugars.

There were some holiday parties in December, but I'm not a party girl. At home, the most I'd drink is 2 glasses--tops--of wine. 4 oz., not a full glass. Or one "drink". I don't enjoy being really intoxicated. I'm just PUZZLED and sad.

Well, I do need to line up a visit with my doctor. I'm heading to bed, as I caught the cold my daughter stayed home from school with this week.

Today I:
- resumed Omega-3 and D3 supplementation--aggressively
- ate steamed broccoli with the eggs this a.m.
- finished my chicken cabbage slaw

No exercise--no time with the long drive home in bad weather, cooking dinner, and not feeling well. Probably best to sleep..

I'm feeling like I'm about to tip into depression over this. It's been a hell of a few months--exhaustion in October and November with some overwork and overtraining, the illness, the total life change. I keep worrying that if my own numbers are worse, did I hurt my kid?

It makes no sense... Linda is doing so very, very well. Of course, she doesn't have the long work hours and whatnot, the single motherhood stress that can hurt a person's body.

Savannah IS eating well, though. Tonight I made organic porkchops with:

This sauteed Kale:

and salad. Savannah ate 1/2 porkchop, all of her little Kale serving, and her little salad. No dessert, just a happy kid.

I AM doing right by her. I'm doing my best. This is a HELL of a lot better than the cheese raviolis and side of 3 pieces of broccoli from our past. I took a blood test just one month after being really ill, and holidays. I will call my doctor and try to stop thinking about this. I cried a couple of times because... my whole life this disgusting image of my father who didn't exercise, alcoholic... high triglycerides, diabetic... ME exercising, measuring my drinks, not eating dessert but once a month, tops for years, never smoking, no drugs. I never ask "why me?" because life is not fair, never had evidence it's fair.

But, oh well. I will solve. But not tonight.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You're doing FINE -- and you're giving your daughter a gift. Please read the article I linked to in your other blog on this topic.
    3291 days ago
    Thank you, each one of you, for your kindness and sharing of ideas! It is soothing and does help me calm down and just look forward.
    3294 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8937156
    Stress makes all your bad numbers go up. Try to relax a little and let time work its magic a bit. I only say this because I'm very Type A and impatient and want to fix it all right this minute too.

    Put down the lab work and pick up meditation. ;)
    3294 days ago
    Geez, go easy on GOOD self - I see you for the wonderful person/mom that you are. You are temporarily confused, but you are making GREAT and wonderful strides and in the RIGHT direction! It takes TIME to change those numbers, but never fear, as I really think from what I've been reading in your recent blogs, that you've got the right things going - upping your Omega-3s helps your cell integrity. Eating fruit, for me anyway, doesn't affect my bg. I gave up gluten, and my bg was still erratic. I gave up dairy, and voila! Normal. Like a normal person normal. I retest it all the time to double-check because I can't believe it and it has been over a year now! LOL. I would like to see what happens with your HDL and trigs if you give up wine, or not.

    My dad is/has been alcoholic his adult life. He has a wheat and milk belly, and his blood sugar is wonky (though not officially dx diabetic). He has dementia and is pretty crazy (that was fun to grow up with - talk about stress)! So I feel ya, and you just have to make your peace and continue soldiering on. How FORTUNATE you are to mold your child's diet at this time. I learned too late - and my daughter is a MESS. It breaks my heart every single day. She's obstinate and stubborn and frustrating me. ... sorry, I digress. LOL.

    Your numbers WILL change. Believe it! emoticon
    3294 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3954274
    You should try not to beat yourself up about this because you've already changed the things that need to be changed. Just imagine those numbers are from your life before. Now you're focusing on yourself and your child. Change isn't going to happen overnight but every piece of broccoli counts toward the person you are going to be. Stay strong, if you no other reason than your child and your mind will catch up.
    3294 days ago
  • -LINDA_S
    I had my first glucose tolerance/insulin test last June. It was not pretty. So now I'm insulin resistant and prediabetic. My doctor is not overly concerned, but we're doing an A1c at my annual exam in March, as well as the whole cholesterol mess. This will not be fun -- I do not fast well! So I feel your pain and know where you're coming from. I'm a lot older, and lucky I don't have the stresses on me that you do, but I have a feeling you'll be fine. Hang in there! It's probably not as bad as it seems right now.
    3294 days ago
    One former Australian prime minister is famous for saying "Life wasn't measnt to be easy" but how hard does it need to be?
    3295 days ago
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