Why my last weight loss attempt didn't work, and why this time it's going to be different
Friday, January 20, 2012
Over the last several years, I have tried off and on to lose weight and get healthy. The one thing all my attempts in the last couple of years have in common is they have left me in a heck of a lot of pain...so I stopped exercising and ended up heavier than when I started. In the last year I have also learned that I am afraid to lose weight. I have had some very bad experiences in my life, and some of them stopped once I started gaining weight. Part of me began to see being overweight as being "safe." Not a smart way to do things or think if I want to get healthy, lose weight, and keep it off.
Another factor that I've avoided taking into account is that I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia two years ago. It's a chronic pain condition that will never go away. I am in at least a small amount of pain literally every single waking moment of every single day...and frequently when I'm sleeping, too. I know a lot of people still don't believe that it exists, but trust me - it does, and you can't imagine the impact it has on the lives of people who live with it. Two years after being diagnosed, I am just now truly learning to accept that this is my life now and, probably even more importantly, that accepting it doesn't mean I'm giving up. Instead, it means I need to find new ways to do the things I need or want to do.
Now that the depressing part of my blog is done...on to the good stuff!
For now, my main goals will be to drink more, eat better, and find small ways to be more active *when I'm able to*...and it's time to stop getting angry or depressed when I'm not capable of more than the bare minimum in physical activity. I'm going to try to remember to always have a glass of water on my desk and find healthy alternatives for ingredients in my favorite recipes. For activity, I'm going to do little things like using the upstairs bathroom rather than the one on the main floor...and if it's a bad pain day, it's ok to use the one that's closer - the next day may be better.
Yes, with going this slowly it will take me a very long time to reach my long term goals...but I'm also much more likely to eventually reach them.