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First let me say that I miss my mom! If you have never had to deal with someone with addiction let me tell you that you feel like a parent to that person so in a way I feel like I lost my mom and my child! It is so weird because I would call her and end up rolling my eyes the whole time because she wasn't making sense and although most people didn't understand how I could continue to have a relationship with her she was my mom and there were lots of good times before and in between the bad times and I miss that! There were a lot of things that would happen that I would call and tell her and I still have the urge to call and tell her! Most of all the fact that my mom basically starved herself while drinking breaks my heart! The thought of my mom not being able to get up not just because of the alcohol but because she was so malnourished is something that will break my heart till my last breath!
Okay now that I'm done with that let me talk about my interesting news! I have had no energy for years! At first my doctor said it was because I had 3 kids really close in age (I had 3 kids in 3 years and 1 month), then he said I should get a sleep study (which I had an appt for and then my hubby got laid off) and when he started working again and we got our insurance back I never went back, after that I just blamed my weight but the fact that I have lost 80 pounds and still had no energy made no sense! I went to the doctor because I stopped taking my prozac thinking it was making me have no libido! Usually when I start losing weight my libido goes crazy and I have never lost even close to this much weight! Anyway.....I went to the doctor to put me on another happy pill because my moods have been out of control even before I lost my mom! I would get back at my hubby for nothing and I had no patience with my kids! I was very moody and very annoyed! While I was at the doctor I asked him to run a bunch of labs on me! We found out that I have low testosterone and by low it was so low that a number didn't register! They did the test twice to make sure there wasn't a mix up but nope I just really have that low of testosterone! For those of you that don't know low testosterone will make you have low libido, no energy, very moody, and it can also make it hard for you to get muscle tone! I was really excited to know that I wasn't crazy! Hopefully with a low dose of testosterone I will be myself again woo hoo!