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i lost my spark

Monday, March 12, 2012

I don't know quite how or when it happened, but I feel like all of the air has gone out of me. I've been less than motivated and haven't been tracking consistently (not at all over the weekend). I have even allowed myself a few late night binges. Feels a lot like the old me.

I was sick all weekend, which didn't help matters. I wanted to go out and enjoy the nice weather and get moving, but the wanting is as far as I got. I keep trying to rally, but so far it hasn't worked at all.

I know this isn't permanent. I will never go back to the way I was. Never. BUT - how do I break through this fog right now? I have something very, very, very important coming up in May that I have been working so hard for, and for such a long time. I think I'm panicking a bit at how real it's about to become and so I'm just taking advantage of every opportunity to sabotage myself. One thing I have learned along the way is that I seem to be more afraid of success than of failure. Failure is easy. Giving up is easy. And, let's be honest, giving up is much more familiar to me. I know how to do that.

I am trying to not beat myself up over this, to get back on track. And really, I know all it takes for me is one workout to get the ball rolling again. This week is going to be tough. I still feel dizzy and slightly nauseated, but I'm GOING to push through it and make better decisions for me. I will go to class every night this week. I will track my food consistently and HONESTLY.

And I know it's not up to any of you to make sure I stay on track, but any support you care to throw my way would be very much appreciated. I need someone other than myself to hold me accountable.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    For me, I have to pick small attainable goals. I can't stick with hard one's. I have been able to just do the SP videos and get my cardio in several times a week. I love the idea of P90X and others programs, but I know ME, I won't stick with it. Find what works for you. We are here to support you. emoticon
    2943 days ago
    You've had some good comments already - I can't add anything new in the way of advice so just posting to offer sympathy really :grin: Being unwell does this to me too - I get back on track by starting small - usually a much shorter walk than usual, but at the usual time - and then gradually the momentum starts to build again.
    2943 days ago
    Hey you can't change the past so the best thing here it to let it go and move on.

    I'm with you on the self sabotage. If I lose, then I decide it's easy and I don't need to track. If I don't lose then I get discouraged. It's a no win really.

    Best thing to do is start today, one day at a time. Just get back on it and everything will turn out ok.

    One caveat though, don't push yourself too hard. Going to the gym every day might seem like a good idea but if you end up wearing yourself out you might end up back in a funk.
    2943 days ago
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    I honestly think this happens to the best of us, especially feeling sick (hellloooo I was just there lol). Don't beat yourself up about it, and don't sit there and ask how you're going to get back on track, get up and get back on track. It starts with the little things first. One small good decision leads to another and another. You can do it!!! Skip over that conversation you have with yourself (if this applies, it does to me all the time hehe), and don't even acknowledge that twinge of "I'm tired, I don't want to, blah blah blah" - stupid voices! (okay.... so maybe I'm the only nutcase hehe ;) ).

    You know, I hadn't realized it was your page where I saw the little icon about "you're only one workout away from a good mood" - I read that a few days ago, and took it to heart. Even went home to exercise during lunch when I had a couple of bad days at work. Remember that, because it helped the heck out of me. I have the utmost faith in you. Dust yourself of and get back up again, because that's what we do! :)
    2943 days ago
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    2943 days ago
    Funny you should say that! I've experienced moments like that and yes, you can come back; just don't wait too long before you do! It's so tempting to slide back into old established routines. Good luck on your journey! Remember the commitment that you made to yourself - at the start. It really is all about you! Have a great day emoticon
    2943 days ago
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