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No Pomp and Circumstance

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Six days ago (March 6) I weighed myself at my usual time, in my usual manner (before eating or drinking, with only my pj's on, after evacuating any fluids from my body first thing after waking up in the morning). I guess I just do it for consistency, but that's what I did. My scale reflected back a weigh-in number of 181 exactly. That reflected a 4lb weight loss since February 19th. Not bad, really... 2lbs (ish) each week for a little more than 2 weeks. That's about on task and healthy. I let SparkPeople do the announcing of my 4lb loss on my Feed and a handful of you lovely folks "liked" it.

What I didn't do was make a bigger deal out of it. And I probably should have. 4 lbs lost is a nice number, but it doesn't tell you the details of the journey. See, I started my SparkJourney on January 25, 2008. I was 198lbs and in my second quarter at UCSD. I was told about this website from a trainer at the gym at school. I was taking a "class" or seminar kind of thing there and she was directing it. One week involved learning about basic nutrition, one week involved learning about cardio, one week about strength training, etc. It was a great program that got me started in the right direction... for the most part. However, as life in a major university does, things got crazy. I initially dropped down to 187lbs during my time in that seminar. But, I ballooned to 210lbs by the time I was getting ready to graduate.

210lbs. That was a terrifying and depressing number. I had never before passed the 200 mark. At 198, I came close, but hadn't ever passed it. I felt awful about myself. I didn't fit in anything. I was a size 18-20 and wearing all my mom's "fat" clothes. I wore clothes that were too big because I didn't want to see my rolls or jiggle. When I graduated, I realized I needed to get serious about this. My left ovary "exploded", as I like to exaggerate. I wasn't told by doctors, but by others, that there is a correlation sometimes to ovarian cysts and obesity. Spending two days in a hospital without being able to eat or drink anything in case I had to have surgery was all I figured I wanted to handle with that.

I ditched a bad relationship, looked back once a year later, and realized it wasn't worth it, and ditched it for good. That SOB made me feel awful about myself and I'm fairly sure its because he feels so awful about himself in some way. Of course I turned to food when I couldn't cope. I had a few "low" moments when I thought it would be easier to be dead. I got scared when I recognized symptoms of battered spouse syndrome in myself. It occured to me that maybe I wasn't completely the problem. So, I said f*** you very much, I'm out! Life improved and I started back on the journey I was meant to be on.

I dropped 20lbs in the next year, so slowly that I hardly noticed. And therefore, didn't make a big deal about that, either. I stayed the same weight for a while, somewhere in the 195lb range. And began to double my efforts.

My weigh-in six days ago at 181lbs is the lowest I've been in at least 5 years. Another 4 or 5lb loss will put me at the heaviest I ever was my sophomore year in high school. I lost weight back then, too, just by eating better.

In all, from my heaviest weight ever, I've lost 29lbs. From the time I started this journey at 198lbs (my original weight, I guess) I've lost 17lbs. I didn't really sit down to think about it until now. Those are some good numbers. Certainly nothing to scoff at. And for a visual, some photos from my heaviest (210lbs or so) to 185lbs (4lbs heavier than today).
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