A look back...and a smile for today.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Rough week. March 8, 2004 my mama died. March 9, 2012 my DH's best friend (Dozer) died. The weekend was a blur of unhealthy choices, and a good amount of depression. A dear friend cared enough for me to actually talk to me about it all and pray with me. That meant the world to me. In the course of beating myself up over managing to do nothing for weight goals in the last year, I learned an important lesson. Am I hard on myself YES - someone has to be. God is a loving God. As far as I can see the only times he has intervened in a MIGHTY and SCARY way in my life was when I was on the road to losing it. So it IS up to me to kick myself in the arse. Who else will? Can I change myself? NOOOOOO but - Can I kick myself, then pray, then surrender and remember WHO is running the show of life? Yes. Thank you.
Today is day 2 of no diet dew and little to no sugar (there is a small amount in the 0 fat yogurt I am eating every other day). I'm not doing this for me anymore, because I don't think highly enough of myself to honor myself that way. I have proven that time and time again. I am doing this so that I don't hurt God's feelings by spending an inordinate amount of time dwelling on diet dew, sugar, and all that goes with it.
I strive to bring the balance back in my life that has God in front of everything. This is not a preachy blog. This is a priority blog. Mine are/were severely screwed up. I'm not looking for the triumph over the scale now. I am looking for the triumph over sins of the flesh. This body has been put through a LOT in this life, yes by ME. Maybe it's time to treat it with the same love that God has for the spirit inside of it, not for me......for Him. A little thank you for keeping it running through years of misuse and abuse. There is so much more to ME than dieting. I have gifts that need to be shared with the world, that is why I'm here, not to stress over my weight.