A little louder and a little bit worse or at least that’s how I remember the song going.
For me, it’s been same song 2nd verse a little bit harder, a little bit worse.
Staring with my son’s birthday the day before Thanksgiving, my eating has been healthy, but too high in calories with frequent impulse/emotional eating. I can identify the whys and how comes, but ultimately must admit I haven’t coped as well as I would have liked. The result is a 15 pound gain over the last three months. Yes, I had a lot on my plate and still do. I worked two jobs while I transitioned to a new full-time position, and I am enrolled in an online degree program, and my daughter’s marriage is falling apart so to reduce my granddaughter’s stress I’ve had her every weekend and many more days. My day begins with 1.5 hours at the gym and continues with a 30 mile commute, an 8 hour day and finishes with a 2-4 hour study period. To say I am busy is an understatement. While I know the value of a good night’s rest, and have preached it over and over, I found myself in a situation where sleep was something I could give up. I didn’t count on it going on for so long.
I’m good at driving myself. Too good! I almost forgot how necessary and down right good it feels to simply stop and breathe. I’m working to incorporate a bit of breathing into every day. I can hear you laughing as you read that. Remember I said I am very good at driving myself, but not so good at relaxing and breathing. I am currently taking about 15 minutes daily for pleasure. Whether that is Sparking or cleaning my bike or house, it is non-driven and relaxing to accomplish some of those types of pleasurable activities. I know it. I need it. I’m working on it.
As for the weight, ug, I am going to get it down. I feel very overwhelmed and I’m not sure how to recapture that in control feeling. I am practicing healthy self-talk, and my sleep deficit is evening out, but I still feel a bit out of sorts emotionally and that tends to lead me to emotional eating. Drats it is so hard to stop that act.
On the flip side, my fitness is soaring. Yes soaring. I am strong on the bike and getting stronger every week. And, drum roll please, a long awaited wish has come true. I have connected with other female cyclists and we are riding together weekly. Our goal is the Seattle to Portland (STP) in July. We expect to ride the 200 miles in a day. Woo Hoo! It is so much fun to ride with others.
Most of us who Spark very long come to accept that healthy living is a work in progress and you never really arrive. I accept that. While I don’t like the 15 pounds, I know they will come off as my miles build and my life settles. I’ve learned with 50 years of living that there are ups and downs. The ups come without fail just like the downs do. Knowing that the rough times will end makes all the difference.
My “free” time is up. I need to hit the books before I leave for work. Thanks to all who have continued to be my friend while I was silent. I cherish you and think about each of you often. Be kind to yourself and never ever give up.