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Slipped and keep slipping

Monday, April 16, 2012

A few weeks ago, I had some dental crisis where a giant piece of one of my fillings came out. I went to the dentist and they said they had to pull the tooth because there wasn't enough left to build around. It was hurting, of course, so I decided to take time off from working out. A few days later, it got worse and after toughing it out for a week, I went back to the dentist to find out that I had lost some of the protecting "stuffing" around the tooth and the bone was all inflamed. They fixed me up, gave me antibiotics, and gave me more pain killers.

So for about 2 weeks, I was in pain and I didn't work out. I also let myself eat whatever I thought I could but after I started feeling better, I kept eating whatever I wanted. I took the whole situation for granted, not exercising, and I started eating total crap. I think Doritos are my Kryptonite.

When I checked last week, I had gained 6 pounds.

I'm afraid to check again to see that I've gained more.

All last week, I kept bringing my workout gear to work and either leaving it here unused or I'd just take it home with me and keep it in my car unused. Since I started this journey over a year ago, this is the longest I've gone without working out. And each day, it seems to get harder and harder to try to get back to the gym.

I've brought my workout gear again today and I'm going to fight to get my butt to the gym after work. I really have very little motivation to go to the gym, so we'll see what it takes to get me there. My plan B is to drive home and immediately change into my workout gear to do a 3 mile walk around my neighborhood before the sun sets. So at least I've got a choice.

For reference, here are a number of the thoughts that are spinning through my head (I'm sure a bunch sound familiar):

"I've been at this for a year and I'm tired. I deserve a break."

"I've already lost 70 pounds- I deserve a break!"

"Screw society's focus on skinny people anyway!"

"Just one more day to relax..."

"I'll get back to it tomorrow."

"Another day won't hurt"

"I should be allowed to eat Doritos if I want to!"

I don't know if this helps everyone out there but after doing this pretty diligently for a year, there are times when it still isn't easy and I just want to say "screw it". And I'm learning the hard way that the longer you put off getting back into the habit, the harder it is to get back.

But I am DETERMINED to get back in the habit. The devil on my shoulder might be pretty stubborn, but so is the angel.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • DELHSI
    Oh, it's so good to know others go through the same - even after being at this for a year and 70 pounds down. I was off the wagon for about 1.5 weeks - due to spring break and relaxing my schedule. I had so many of the same thoughts going through my head "Just one more day to relax", "it's spring break and I'm just doing fun stuff with the kids (my niece and nephew stayed with our family) so it's okay to let go", etc. It's like somehow I was gambling with myself, as if I don't see myself getting bigger (really) then the numbers won't appear on the scale, so I'd take another bite and then another and of course it showed on the scale. Yesterday, I finally pulled myself together. Saturday I went for a walk with my family because my hubby asked - otherwise it would have been a lazy afternoon on the couch. Honestly, it was a short walk but it made me feel so much better than the couch and that got me on the right track on Sunday. So, I hope you got some type of exercise in today - even if just a little. Thank you for letting me know I'm not alone! You've done awesome and you will continue to do awesome!

    ~Della
    3145 days ago
  • FORBANDE
    Oh.... I sooo feel ya! I have been doing the same thing!! A whole lot of I deserve it, This is too hard, One won't hurt... And here I am.

    Thanks for sharing this blog! It does help. More than you may know.

    I know you will get back to it. You obviously are not a quitter!!


    3145 days ago
  • IMAJEAN0178
    I agree with the other comments, you can do it. Maybe just plan to exercise for 10 minutes. I find when I am tired or unmotivated if I plan on 10 minutes once I get started I keep going. But even if you only do 10 minutes it is a start and you will have begun getting back into the habit.
    3145 days ago
  • TREE_HUGGER_87
    Be like NIKE!! Just do it!! I know it's not that simple. But you can do it. And you're right, every day that you put off doing it makes it harder and harder to get back. I refuse to stop even for a day, even if it's just something small like a low intensity walk outside for an hour. You can do it though :) Goodluck today!
    3145 days ago
  • MABTE52
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    3145 days ago
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