Monday, April 23, 2012
I am at a breaking point.
almost got in a very very bad car wreck this weekend. Am thankful my friend saw it coming and was able to avoid it in the nick of time.
just got off the phone with the new doctor. Thyroid is out of numbers again and need to adjust the meds again. supposedly nothing else was found to be wrong with the tests they ran last week. I am very frustrated and hurt and discouraged. I know my body and still feel that something isn't right. I just don;t believe it. I want to see the x-ray for myself on the neck. it still hurts all the time.. after I work, after I go for a walk from the jogging, after a long car ride, why? if nothing is wrong? why does my right arm go numb? nothing wrong? I don;t think so. Something is causing it. I go in in a month to actually review all of the tests and see what else we can do.
my homework to research cognitive distortion only made me cry and depressed. talked with counselor friend/lady at work and she doesn't even know what it is and is researching it. she has agreed to see me for free. but it has caused my PTSD to flair up big time and I feel like I am going out of my mind. I am angry and hurt. feel very very sore. no weight loss last week. just want to give up.
not gonna go into all of it here. probably overshared on one of my earlier posts. sigh. just done. maybe its time to slip away from spark for awhile. dont need to ( vomit my junk) on all of you. Julie