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JLVS2BAKE

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Monday, April 23, 2012

I am at a breaking point.
almost got in a very very bad car wreck this weekend. Am thankful my friend saw it coming and was able to avoid it in the nick of time.
just got off the phone with the new doctor. Thyroid is out of numbers again and need to adjust the meds again. supposedly nothing else was found to be wrong with the tests they ran last week. I am very frustrated and hurt and discouraged. I know my body and still feel that something isn't right. I just don;t believe it. I want to see the x-ray for myself on the neck. it still hurts all the time.. after I work, after I go for a walk from the jogging, after a long car ride, why? if nothing is wrong? why does my right arm go numb? nothing wrong? I don;t think so. Something is causing it. I go in in a month to actually review all of the tests and see what else we can do.
my homework to research cognitive distortion only made me cry and depressed. talked with counselor friend/lady at work and she doesn't even know what it is and is researching it. she has agreed to see me for free. but it has caused my PTSD to flair up big time and I feel like I am going out of my mind. I am angry and hurt. feel very very sore. no weight loss last week. just want to give up.
not gonna go into all of it here. probably overshared on one of my earlier posts. sigh. just done. maybe its time to slip away from spark for awhile. dont need to ( vomit my junk) on all of you. Julie
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • REJ7777
    I saw in the Team Huddle that you asked for support. First, thank God that you were protected from that car wreck. I don't know your story, but I see that you have a lot to deal with. I do hope that your health problems will be correctly diagnosed so that you can get adequate treatment. It's a good thing that the very things that you need to do to lose weight (eat healthy and be physically active) are good for your health in general and can only help with whatever you have to deal with.

    Spark is a good place to vent, don't deprive yourself of a good tool and needed support.

    3132 days ago
  • JLVS2BAKE

    yes, I have been to chiropractor, and yes, this is the second doctor. it is good news in that it means no vertebral surgery needed. it means the old surgery is probably still looking good and doing fine. That doesn't mean no soft tissue damage. No, I have not had a recent MRI. Dr. wanted me to do physical therapy and we simply cannot afford it. Not sure we can afford MRI either. Will have to do more praying and trust the LOrd for healing on the neck, arm - for my chronic vertigo and other health issues as well..
    Praying I sleep well tonight without PTSD nightmares. Julie
    3143 days ago
  • YIWEN39
    Sorry you are having such a hard time. I hope you can get a second opinion for your neck/arm. Hang in there.
    emoticon
    3143 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6447544
    Sweetie, so happy you are safe, if you have time.... have you looked into a second opinion as far as your health? emoticon emoticon
    3143 days ago
  • JLVS2BAKE
    I am not in a happy happy place and just cant put up the happy happy front continually. I do work, and have to help customers at my job constantly as a cashier - so have to put on a smile and be bright and cheery - takes it out of me. I cannot do it here as well.
    when I post encouragement, it is genuine.
    Julie
    3143 days ago
  • LITTLEGUYSMOM1
    I'm sorry you are having such a hard time right now. I'll be praying for you. emoticon
    3143 days ago
  • SLIMMERJESSE
    I'm very happy you were not in that bad accident. But sorry to hear you are having
    a rough time. I know these very well, and
    can tell you that I have found SP especially
    valuable in keeping my healthy during
    stressful times. Even if you do a little each
    day, it's better than nothing. I never worry
    about writing or reading negative blogs.
    I think that is what real life is about. Most of
    the blogs at SP are a happy happy kinda phoney front. I like reality. Hope you don't go away.
    3143 days ago
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