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Coming back from relapse

Friday, June 29, 2012

I was doing so well! And then a number of things happened. Rebound grief from losing both of my parents, a love relationship falling apart right in front of my eyes, financial stresses and family issues--they all came to a head and I ran back into overeating to make myself feel better. Or just not feel at all. I wanted to numb myself from all the pain I was feeling. Surprisingly, it took over a year to regain most of the weight. Some of my healthy eating habits and exercise workouts were ingrained in my brain, and that kept me from falling back even further than I did. But by the time I stopped to take inventory, I was close to my highest weight, my high blood pressure had gotten worse, I was having headaches almost daily, and I felt like a complete failure. I eventually went back to OA meetings, and started facing all the collateral damage in my life. Christmas of 2011 was a turning point.
Since then, things have changed. I re-committed myself to my recovery. Started working out on a regular basis again. Started dropping some of the toxic food from my diet, and am working on weaning myself off the others. The last three months have been tough, but really good for me. I feel like myself again. My weight goal for June was to get my weight back under 200 lbs, and I made it! It's just taking a long time to lose a pound, and I'm accepting the reality of being 56 and trying to lose weight. It takes a while. But I'm not complaining. I'm very glad to be steering my life in the right direction again. Thank you God, and thanks to all my fellow Sparkies! You're a constant inspiration to me.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    York story is a true inspiration. If you can get through all that you've gone through, I certainly can get through one day of wallowing in my own pity party. I love the reality of your words when you said you recommitted yourself to your recovery. That's exactly what I need to remember. I'm not just losing some weight to look good. This weight is slowly killing me. So, I hereby, commit myself to my own recovery. Thanks again for you inspiration.

    2989 days ago
  • CARMEL_466
    It works when you work it! I love that saying from OA. I joined back in September of 2011 and got off to a great start but then...life happened. Congratulations on getting back under 200. I'm so happy for you. Let's keep fighting for Recovery! Have an awesome day.
    3042 days ago
    Thanks for sharing your story. It sounds like you were engulfed by a veritable tsunami of pain and loss. It's hard to think of anything else while you are grieving; we just want to be comforted in whatever way works. But beneath all the sorrow there is always a seed of hope and renewal. You have allowed yours to sprout and grow; moving out of the pain and moving on with your life. That proves that you are a strong woman; many others would have given up in defeat.

    I will be praying for you to have that extra strength you will need on the bad days and to find better means of comfort (than food) to help you through them.

    Glad you are back; God bless

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3050 days ago
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