Coming back from relapse
Friday, June 29, 2012
I was doing so well! And then a number of things happened. Rebound grief from losing both of my parents, a love relationship falling apart right in front of my eyes, financial stresses and family issues--they all came to a head and I ran back into overeating to make myself feel better. Or just not feel at all. I wanted to numb myself from all the pain I was feeling. Surprisingly, it took over a year to regain most of the weight. Some of my healthy eating habits and exercise workouts were ingrained in my brain, and that kept me from falling back even further than I did. But by the time I stopped to take inventory, I was close to my highest weight, my high blood pressure had gotten worse, I was having headaches almost daily, and I felt like a complete failure. I eventually went back to OA meetings, and started facing all the collateral damage in my life. Christmas of 2011 was a turning point.
Since then, things have changed. I re-committed myself to my recovery. Started working out on a regular basis again. Started dropping some of the toxic food from my diet, and am working on weaning myself off the others. The last three months have been tough, but really good for me. I feel like myself again. My weight goal for June was to get my weight back under 200 lbs, and I made it! It's just taking a long time to lose a pound, and I'm accepting the reality of being 56 and trying to lose weight. It takes a while. But I'm not complaining. I'm very glad to be steering my life in the right direction again. Thank you God, and thanks to all my fellow Sparkies! You're a constant inspiration to me.