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I have a confession to make which is leading to a goal.

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

I have not been in a bathing suit in public in the last 20 or more years. Keeping in mind that I am 38, that means I have never been swimming in public as an adult. That is how utterly insecure I am. I have been in shape during that time but I let my lack of breasts hold me back.

So I have a goal. Next summer I WILL buy a beautiful bathing suit that is flattering for small chests and I will take the family to the beach. I am done with letting my insecurities get in the way of living. That gives me just under a year to get my body in as fit a condition as I can.

Even as I type this I'm filled with fear and dread. But I will conquer this fear. In all reality, I wouldn't be laughed off the beach even as I am now but this gives me time to prepare myself more physically and mentally. It will be a huge moment for me.

Eek!!! emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I spent 15 years not bathing in public... as I lived in the sountryside that did not mean that I did not bathe, there are small lakes and private beaches that I used for bathing those years - and interesting enough I was not that senstive about exercise swimming in indoor pools - you are not there to look ok in a swimsuit, you are there to exercise...

    I am still not comfortable in a swisuit on a beach - on the other hand I don´t like to be on a beach because I don´t like to just lay in the sun so it is hardly a problem. This summer I have not been bathing, not because of shyness, but because of weather and not interesed enough. The indoor pool opens in september and then I will go there again.

    What has been a bit hard has been after breast cancer - I have onky one breast and I don´t let it stop me to go swimming but I don´t feel comfortable in the dressing room or shower.. And although I know that one out of ten women get breastcancer in my country (Sweden) I have NEVER seen another onebreasted person in the showers or sauna which means either a) they never go to public indoor swimming pools or b) they change in the toilet and shower/sauna with their swimsuit on. Of course most younger women get reconsturction right away today but I have not seen any scars either...

    Thinking about my experience about being public with one breast only I should not worry if I were you - people really don´t notice as muh as one would think.

    3038 days ago
    I have swimsuit issues as well. When I hit my goal weight, I bought my first ever bikini and felt pretty darn great in it as I hit the beach! It wasn't a tiny bikini, but one that totally flattered me...and it was good.

    I still don't feel comfortable in a swimsuit, but I don't dread it as I used to. You can do it!!
    3039 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12282919
    I have the same issues. I also don't tan (only sunburn), so going to the beach or pool in a bathing suit is not for me. I take my grand kids to the beach or pool, but I refuse to wear a bathing suit. SO I applaud you for your goal. I am in the process of getting in shape though. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3041 days ago
  • ANGGEL40
    You will look just as good as anyone else in a bathing suit...Go for it ..you will be amazed at yourself...Good Luck!
    3041 days ago
    Our own brains are our worst enemies.

    Most women would KILL to look half as good as you.
    3041 days ago
  • DANE02
    Wish you all the best and much success! You can do it and over come all obstacles...I know it is not easy. I weighed 340 and though my body has changed with my transformation, I still battle with the mental side. One day at a time
    3041 days ago
    wow, good for you to make such a brave goal. I know most of us hate bathing suits. JUst wait until you are my age.....the big 60! It isn't a pretty site but I won't let it keep me out of the pool or hot tub!
    Best of everything to you!
    3041 days ago
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