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Stalled out...

Saturday, September 29, 2012

I'm trying not to focus on the numbers. I know I need to focus on doing what I need to do. It happens every time, I eat right I exercise and my body will not release the weight. Last week I gained 3#'s due to fluid retention in my legs that I discovered was attributed to my sodium intake. I fixed that and kept trucking. I'm at a loss. Of the 3#'s of fluid I gained, I only lost 1 # of it this week, but whereas the pounds went up the inches came down last week. Now the pounds went down but the inches went up. emoticon

I'm honestly struggling right now. Wondering am I going to be defeated again? I had a goal I just wanted to be out of the 280#'s by the time my 20th high school reunion came around. That date is now a week away and at 287....I know that goal is not possible. The failure voices are creeping inside my head. Yet another goal I failed to meet. The good and evil voices in my head are battling. You can do this vs. your going to fail again..because you always do.

I'm not a two faced person. I'm not going to "pretend" everything is good because it is not. I look at my husband who is doing this juice diet and has been since I started SP again. He has lost 20#'s. I eat healthy and exercising my butt off and I've been bouncing between 15#'s ..now only at 13#'s. I try to focus on me because I know what he is doing will not last, and it is not healthy. At the same time, who am I to tell him that, when what he is doing is working. It's not fair. I'm sorry but it is not! I know men lose weight faster than women. I know he is losing because of calorie restriction and he is losing muscle b/c the only protein he gets is in the chia seeds he puts in his juice. I know not to put all my eggs into the basket of the emoticon

I KNOW to stay focus on other factors: how I feel, how I look, what I'm accomplishing, where I'm going, how it makes me feel when I make better choices. This week those factors themselves are a struggle. I hit my targets and yet since Wednesday I'm running out of steam, I feel blah, I don't have that WOW factor when I look in the mirror, my confidence is dwindling this week, and I don't know why. I'm struggling to eat enough calories to keep up with my calorie burn but I make sure I hit in the middle. Even if it is just eating a tablespoon of almond butter to get me to that range. I hit my targets, food, excercise, water, fruits and veggies...check check check check. I keep telling myself hang in there, its a plateau, or it is just this or that. I can't help but wonder am I doing something wrong?

So, once again, I'm going to brush myself off. I'm not giving up. I'm not going to veg out. I'm going to keep on pressing, keep moving forward. Because I know if I stop, I'll go back to where I was and the cycle will begin again. I know I must continue on this track I have laid before me, because it is the path to my future, to my goals.

(slow and steady wins the race) emoticon emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I feel your frustration! I too struggle with much of what you say. Like you, I am trusting the process/program to deliver in the long run. You are making good choices each day. You are creating a healthy life-style.

    Instead of focusing on the weight you had wished for your high school reunion, what else can you focus on? Will you be glad to re-connect? Talk about children, jobs, travels? Maybe if you think about some conversations you want to have you will lift your spirits and those whom you will be encountering.

    Let us enjoy life at every moment. You are worth it. emoticon
    2953 days ago
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