Making A Difference?
Thursday, October 04, 2012
If you have read my blog here on Spark for awhile you will have noticed a recurring theme. The theme of how can one tell if they have made a difference? You see my goal as a Christian, is to be a better person today then I was yesterday and to help other people. Not necessarily win them to Christ, because that is God's job, not mine. I am here to try and aid others in their everyday life. The problem is one can never tell if they are succeeding at this.
My husband has accepted a job in Tennessee, so we will probably be moving sometime in November. I will be leaving Wisconsin where we have lived for 16ish years. I can not tell if I have made a difference at all in this area in the people around me.
My church where I worked and attended and tried to make a difference at and through, closed in August 2011. Then I worked short term at a church this year that closed in September. (They hired me after they had already began discussing closing, as there secretary was moving away.) Was looking for a church to attend and maybe make a difference at and through, but never quite connected, was just beginning to though.
So I don't have a workplace or a church where people will miss me or that I can see where I have made a difference. I have tried to help my twin and mostly managed to irritate her somehow. Tried to help some others, but somehow got to where I felt one couple was just using me and really haven't talked to them of late. Another person I tried to help seems to be doing better, but he usually backslides and his health is getting much worse. Seems to me he just doesn't take care of himself and he doesn't see a reason to, but it could be medical too. (Yes, he pretty much said he can't see a reason to live a long life. But then my twin has said similar too.)
My husband on the other hand has many people at work who will miss working with him and he can see the impact he has had on things at work. Even working at a large company, he can see an impact. He, of course, also has a job waiting for him in Tennessee, IE people who think he is worth it to employ and pay him and pay for his move, etc.
So how can I figure out if I have succeeded in making any difference at all in Waukesha, WI? I don't want to change the world. I just want to know that I have helped someone. My blog partner, on my coupon blog, will miss me, but that is about the only person, so far. And we actually do a bit better communicating IM than in person, as we are both a bit hard of hearing, etc.
Some people suggest you think about what you want your obit to say and try to make that what your life is about and I want mine to say she was a good human being who tried to help others and loved being outdoors. But at this point, I think I have felt used by so many people taking advantage of my trying to help them, and that in the long run it probably helped no one. *sigh* I won't be leaving any kind of legacy/memory in Waukesha, it seems.