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Battling the Biggest Bad in my Life

Monday, October 29, 2012

The last four months, since the last time I posted a blog, have been the hardest, worst time in my life. My sister, who is five years younger than me and is my best friend, was diagnosed with liver cancer. By the middle of August we were swept up into a whirlwind of sadness that just wouldn't let up. August 23 she had surgery to remove the entire right lobe of her liver, her gallbladder and they ended up taking about a softball sized amount of her diaphragm. The cancer she has is very rare and the doctors aren't really confident about how to treat it. On October 22 she started a very aggressive type of chemo that she will be going through every 21 days for the next 6-8 months. In short our lives have become a mess. And during that mess I have sought comfort in food. If it was sweet I was there. Because of that I gained the ten pounds that I lost back plus an additional ten. I'm back at my all time high. And to be perfectly honest I don't really want to try and lose it. But I have to. It's not an option. I can't live this way. So despite the fact that everything in me wants to curl up in a ball, and eat the pain away I can't. I have a niece and nephew that I have to be there for, should anything happen to my sister. And she needs to be able to not worry about me while she's going through this. I don't know where to start. I don't know where to get the energy to beat the desire to just do nothing. But I guess I have to try. That's something I can do I guess. Be the best me I can be so I have the best of me to offer.
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  • no profile photo CD9394210
    So sad that your familly is having such a bad time!
    I'm sending lots of prayer your way! emoticon
    2713 days ago
    Thanks so much for the good thoughts. emoticon I bought a couple of Tae Bo videos online tonight to get it started. I'm in Michigan so the days of taking walks are pretty much over about this time of the year. But I did get a faith based Tae Bo to boost me in the spiritual while I'm working on the physical. So I'm hoping to get started moving in the right direction.
    2714 days ago
    The cancer battle is never easy, for anyone involved. I'm hoping she gets this taken care of and bounces back quickly. My mother had breast cancer and it has been rough. Even though there are no signs of it, she's now paranoid any time something comes up. It's something she will have to deal with for the rest of her life.

    Start by walking. 30 minutes, or so, just a couple of times a week. See how you feel then. Especially when I'm down like that, I prefer to walk when the sun is out. It makes me happy to see the sun.

    And put down the sweets. If that's your comfort food, put them down for a while. Maybe, after you get back on track, you can pick them back up in moderation, but for now, get rid of them. They are doing you more harm than good.

    Best of wishes to you all.
    2714 days ago
    I'm really sorry to hear about your sister !
    I sure hope that she will be able to beat that cancer !
    You are both in my thoughts, and prayers.
    Take good care.
    2714 days ago
  • 3G1RLS4ME
    So sorry about your sis hopefully she'll beat the cancer and high hopes for you as we'll be behind you every slow step of the way, maybe if there are days your sister can walk you guys can talk a short walk together and just be there for one another
    2714 days ago
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