Battling the Biggest Bad in my Life
Monday, October 29, 2012
The last four months, since the last time I posted a blog, have been the hardest, worst time in my life. My sister, who is five years younger than me and is my best friend, was diagnosed with liver cancer. By the middle of August we were swept up into a whirlwind of sadness that just wouldn't let up. August 23 she had surgery to remove the entire right lobe of her liver, her gallbladder and they ended up taking about a softball sized amount of her diaphragm. The cancer she has is very rare and the doctors aren't really confident about how to treat it. On October 22 she started a very aggressive type of chemo that she will be going through every 21 days for the next 6-8 months. In short our lives have become a mess. And during that mess I have sought comfort in food. If it was sweet I was there. Because of that I gained the ten pounds that I lost back plus an additional ten. I'm back at my all time high. And to be perfectly honest I don't really want to try and lose it. But I have to. It's not an option. I can't live this way. So despite the fact that everything in me wants to curl up in a ball, and eat the pain away I can't. I have a niece and nephew that I have to be there for, should anything happen to my sister. And she needs to be able to not worry about me while she's going through this. I don't know where to start. I don't know where to get the energy to beat the desire to just do nothing. But I guess I have to try. That's something I can do I guess. Be the best me I can be so I have the best of me to offer.