Day 883: Struggling with the Scale

Not in a literal sense. Or even, really, in a weight sense. But in a do-I-really-want-to-weigh-myse
lf-every-week sense.

I worked with a woman once who did some workout/diet plan thing and at the beginning, she did an initial weigh-in, then wasn't "allowed" to weigh herself again for 6 weeks. At the time, I was like "how could you possibly wait 6 weeks to see how all of your hard work has paid off?" Now, I think I get it.

I am not liking the idea of the scale being the determining factor in my success or failure, as I have always let it. I don't like the idea of the emotional roller coaster I have always let it take on me. You know, the ecstatic high when you have worked hard and lost 4 pounds, and then the depressing low when you have worked hard and gained 2 pounds, the "how on earth did I lose anything this week?" and the "why didn't I lose more this week?" and the mid-week weigh-ins, just to make sure that you are on the right track for the week.

I just don't think I want to do it anymore. I think, maybe, I will start just weighing myself every 4 weeks or 6 weeks, or whatever, so that when I do get on the scale and see a 6-pound loss after 6 weeks, I can just be happy that it's a loss without all the other termoil of the gains and losses in between.

I don't want the number on my scale to rule me anymore. I don't want it to determine my self-worth anymore.

I think I needed it when I started my journey because I needed the constant confirmation that I was doing things right. I was so big that it was hard to see the changes. I didn't go down a pants' size until I had lost 40 pounds, and even at 60+ pounds lost, I hadn't gone down a second pants' size or a single shirt size.

I don't want to be ruled by the scale anymore, so I'm not going to let it rule me anymore. I'll just check in every now and then and otherwise, ignor it.