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Tuesday, February 05, 2013

I'm generally a pretty easy-going person............well, except for being tolerant of the Lady In the Mirror. She'd likely tell you that I'm easy-going with everyone but her. She, however, is not the topic of conversation today..........!

I had a blog all neatly prepared and *thought* I posted it last night during the Biggest Loser. Somewhere between Jillian and Dani having fun with their LCW and Dolvette and the Red Gang working out with Laila Ali...........well, my post went "poof". I came back here this morning to re-read what I'd written (which I do frequently when I write a blog post) and it was gone.

So, not only did all those wonderful words of wisdom disappear, I lost points for my Spark team for the weekend challenge.................

...................and as I started to think about my adventure in the weight-loss realm, I realized that "frustrated" sums up nicely where I'm at right now with a *LOT* of things in my life.

I realize that I'm the only one who can control my emotions and how I react..................and all the progress I thought I'd made in that realm has obviously NOT been made. I'm a terribly emotional eater and that's been an established thing with me since my high school days. However, I never considered "frustration" an emotion. I've considered it more a stated of being.........................
......until now.

My list of things that have me in this emotional state is longer than I'd like it to be and I've realized that I've truly let a whole lot of "things" take over my ability to reason. I've allowed frustration to creep in and lay roots that are starting to run pretty deep...........and frustration is leading to excuses.

Oh, how I hate excuses. AND while I hate them, I can tell you that I am the champion excuse maker. I think I must have won an Excuse-Making Bee in elementary school or something..............I must have a blue ribbon for it somewhere.....................
........because that was a lesson *well* learned in my early years.

Perhaps it was a good thing my other blog disappeared...................

....................this one is making me take stock and reflect more than the other one did.

5 1/2 hours too late for points......................

..............but hopefully on time in the grand scheme of my life and what I want it to be.
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  • no profile photo CD13477202
    I can so relate to this subject, I use food for every emotion also, and its hard to break that habit, some days I do better than others, but when I am stressed its the hardest to divert my attention elsewhere. But all we can do is keep trying.
    2933 days ago
    I just saw this blog ... and wanted to share my thoughts, since I so definitely share this problem.

    You know, I don't think I am more "emotional" than other people, but I do think I use my emotions as an excuse to eat, and have since I was a little child. And, in retrospect, I think there is a childlike immediate gratification in grabbing my comfort or binge foods when I am upset, tired, angry, scared, etc. It is instant pleasure, a familiar friend, a lifelong pattern.

    But, it can also be self-destructive when it gets out of control, and a few calories become several hundred or thousand, which is usually what happens. Sure, it would be okay if, when feeling blue, I had a cuppa tea and two pirouettes. That's a very nice little 150 cal snack. And, when I am in a healthy state of mind, I WILL limit it to two pirouettes. But, when I reach for food in an emotional state, it can be like a flash flood, and nothing is left in the wake of the devastation. In reality, THAT is the time when I really need OTHER coping skills, because food is the danger zone.

    And, I am still working on this ... and reading about it ...

    I need to develop OTHER ingrained activities that I can do when I am emotional, that don't involve food. I'm not a journal writer, but maybe I should develop that. I'm not one to meditate, but maybe I should develop that. Taking a walk? Distracting myself by playing with the dogs?

    I had a friend in Overeaters Anonymous, and one day he told me that, when he wanted to binge, he would "play out the tape to the end." As if he was a movie, he would see how that binge would end. And, for him, like for me, it ended like that flash flood.

    I am not saying that I can never snack, because I do snack, quite healthily. Rather, it's is that, when I start reaching for foods because I am in an emotional state that I get into trouble. While part of me is reaching for food BECAUSE I'M UPSET, the other part of me is using my upsetness as an EXCUSE TO OVEREAT. And, when I play out that tape to the end, it ends with remorse at having eaten hundreds or thousands of calories over my range, with a food hangover, and with an upset stomach.

    I (we?) can do better ... the ladies in our mirrors are so smart and ingenious. We have dealt with hard things in life, some of which we have in common, and have not only survived, but flourished. We are so ready to give this negative pattern up.

    So, let's DO IT!
    3086 days ago
    PArt of my journey has been learning to redirect my emotions intead of mastering them. At my age, I find it easier (lazy me!)

    This was a wonderful blog, participation to your extent possible not perfection. Great job! WTG! emoticon
    3090 days ago
    Linda, I believe that this blog may not only have had you taking stock of the situation but that it is going to help others of us take stock as well. Sharing your real feelings and frustrations, in other words, being real with us is a great example to each of us to be real with ourselves.
    Have you found the blue ribbon back yet? Just wondering because maybe now is the time to let go of it....
    Oh, forgive yourself for not blacking out the bingo card this weekend. It sounds like the team has, I know you've worked on the card, put your best foot forward, faced circumstances beyond your control, and appreciate that you participated.

    3090 days ago
  • LADYJ6942
    You know the team understands and supports you. You've endured a lot of changes late and while some of them are self directed frustration sets in none the less.

    You can over come your excuses

    You can take charge of your frustration(s) and eliminate them or develope a course of action to derail them and re-rail yourself

    Love you, Love the lady in the mirror, Love your body - none of them have failed you, they've rallied and supported you as have many on your team and in your life.

    You'll tackle these hurdles with gusto and feel so much better.

    3090 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4114604
    I feel your frustration.....since i was there last weekend...when i forgot to post my Blackout points. Try to cheer up about it....even though it will 'nag at you' for a while longer! We ain't mad at cha' emoticon Smile Linda emoticon
    I am not sure why we keep getting 'frustrated' instead of taking charge and working on the same thing..or issue that leaves us frustrated......i have been frustrated because i can't seem to lose an ounce lately....no matter what i try.....but when i am being honest with myself i know deep down in side i am not losing because i am not giving it my 'all'..... i still eat too many sweets......plus i tend to conveniently forget to track sometimes... plain and simple....It is time to step it up!!

    3090 days ago
  • FABAT402009
    Linda I don't have a blackout for the weekend challenge but I showed up and did get some points. You're such a great team member with a lot going on.. Please don't beat yourself up so much!
    3090 days ago
    Linda, I always enjoy your honesty and you draw such wonderful pictures with your writing. I love the blue ribbon in Elementary Excuse Making! emoticon

    So I didn't blackout either - why?? Because I snacked Sat night, and it was truly mindless. emoticon

    Back on track Sunday, and back to trying not to beat myself up when I disappoint ME! What Jan just said! emoticon emoticon
    3090 days ago
    Frustration - when all else fails - eat! YEP!! That's frustration.

    I think you have lots of company. And I hate it when someone says to me (and SHE does) "only you can control your emotions" - geeze Louise - I KNOW that, but have never been able to completely master that - as many cannot.

    But I have found that the kinder you are to yourself - NO - not making excuses - just less negative self talk about the "stuff" the better one can cope.

    Let's try our best to discard the negative stuff and focus more on what we have accomplished, the journey we have made, the friends in our lives and FOCUS FORWARD - not what we didn't do yesterday.

    3090 days ago
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