Wednesday, February 06, 2013
Well, here it is, February 6. I have not stuck to me New Year's resolution of trying to be more healthy and get my diabetes under control. Last year at this time I was doing really good until I got a sinus infection that turned into bronchitis that turned into pneumonia. Then I found out I was severely anemic and almost needed a blood transfusion. No wonder I was so tired! That shot my whole year. Anyone who is a diabetic knows how much longer it takes to recuperate from even a common cold than the average person. I am probably 75-80 pounds overweight. Diabetes runs in my Dad's side of the family so I have grown up having my grandparents and all my aunts and uncles and my Dad living with diabetes, and not really keeping it under control. They were all over weight. Some have lost the weight, but most are now on insulin. I'm still on pills but my sugar keeps going up a little more over time. To boot, my husband is diabetic and doesn't control his eating at all. He is very overweight and will probably soon be on insulin. He contantly brings home candy, cookies, ice cream, chips, etc. even if I ask him not to. How can I be mad at him? I love those things to, and always end up eating them along with him. I think we're a bad influence on each other, instead of helping each other be stronger. To make matters worse, there are constantly donuts, bagels, cookies and candy set out at work. Trying to talk to the people who do this, and explaining my diabetes doesn't help; they only get resentful and angry, like its my problem and I just need to have will power. I know that's true! I guess all my excuses are just that, excuses. But I feel so alone in all this. I'm not strong enough to be the good role model for everyone else. I wish I had a role model to emulate. I know others on Spark People are supportive but you still end up feeling like a stranger. It took a lot of courage to post this, knowing people will read it and maybe judge me for being whiny and not taking responsibility. I feel overwhelmed and a little scared for the future. Maybe I need to take it one little baby step at a time, but where do I begin?