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Kicking Self-Doubt to the Curb

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

As a child we could imagine ourselves as becoming anything in the world, a ballerina, an astronaut, a marine biologist…. (I wanted to swim with dolphins!). We never doubted we had it in us to become these things. We saw life through the eyes of our parents and teachers who said we could do anything and be anything… we were perfect just the way we were. Then as we grew older we start to realize maybe they were wrong. We received a bad grade in a class, the boy or girl we liked didn’t know we existed, a cruel teacher for some reason didn’t like us, the first love of our life dropped us like we meant nothing, we didn’t get that dream job that we just knew was made for us. As we learned these life lessons we started to think, maybe we aren’t as perfect as we thought, maybe we aren’t really good at anything… and self-doubt is born and forever present in our day-to-day life.

Everyone learns to deal with self-doubt in their own way but no one, I mean no one is immune to it. We really are our worse critics and for some this voice is louder than others, I am one of those people. I’ve learned that if I don’t quell this voice fast it can become quite ugly and no one is as mean to me as I am. In fact my husband has gotten mad at me many times for this behavior. In his eyes I am the perfect woman but in mine I see so many things I wish I had done differently or I wish I could change. But with self-doubt comes self-confidence and this is the voice I am trying to train to be louder. Even when I am feeling not so confident I will push myself to show confidence. It isn’t an easy transformation and as I progress I realize just how lacking in confidence I really am.

My husband is an incredibly wonderful man and has helped me to start to see myself in a different light. When I start berating myself he gets mad and tells me I’m wrong and boosts me up. One of the things that really resonated with me is that I can not think of a single instance where I couldn’t handle something. I have been strong enough to get through anything, and never have I had to throw in the towel. Every time life has handed me a problem I was able to solve it and each time it has made me stronger. One of my favorite quotes “That which does not kill us makes us stronger” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche …. you can’t get any truer than that! Shouldn’t I be invincible by now!!

I have learned that I need to be patient with myself, I am a work in progress like everyone else and the only thing I will regret in this life is not trying! Plus I am perfect…. well at least as perfect as anyone else is!

My new quest……. Self-actualization!

You can view my personal blog at www.RedhotWritingHood.co
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I am proud of you! You are doing it!

    spark hug
    1908 days ago
    you are right on! We all have those doubts, so kick them out the door.
    GGRSPARK I too have a wonderful hubby, second time around. The first found nothing good in me or anyone for that matter.
    The second see only the good, and tells me every day in things he does.

    GREAT BLOG. Keep that head up high and walk proud!!!!
    1921 days ago
    emoticon , emoticon , emoticon & emoticon blog! emoticon for sharing your blog with me, I really appreciate it! You are definitely worth it, emoticon , I hope you know it! If not you do now! Sometimes it takes us a long time & a few lbs. to figure it out! hope you have a blessed day! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1921 days ago
    Not King but kind...
    2018 days ago
    You could be describing me. Self doubt is my constant companion when it comes to myself... But I can be quite confident intellectually most of the time. In fact a little arrogant often... King of odd really.
    2018 days ago
    Loved this blog and liked the references to rogers and Nietzsche - very insperational xx
    2066 days ago
    Great philosophy. But a good hard look at ourselves should serve to cheer us on. Of course it's wonderful that you have such a supportive man...as I do, second time around.
    2067 days ago
    This is an awesome blog and just what i needed to read (sorry I came to it Late) I can't believe it did not make it to featured post of the day it is fabulous.Everyone needs to read your thoughts on self doubt .
    2720 days ago
    Sorry for the late post! This was exactly what I needed to read this morning! emoticon
    2761 days ago
    Isn't it strange that our minds take ONE act of cruelty to destroy SEVEN acts of kindness? So easy is it to fall under self doubt.

    Thank you very much for putting up this blog. Love it.
    2767 days ago
  • -POOKIE-
    So often we don't see our real strength, and it takes somebody we truly love and trust to point it out... so that we actually believe it of ourselves!
    2767 days ago
    Kick that self doubt all the way down the street! You can DO it!
    2767 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10259955
    What a wonderful husband you have emoticon

    We should all take a few moments today to look back over our lives, remembering those things that didn't go our way and how we dealt with them, how we moved forward, how we became stronger, how they didn't kill us! emoticon because we are emoticon !!
    2768 days ago
    2768 days ago
  • BOPPY_
    I have every confidence that we will be calling you LITTLE Red Writing Hood, shortly. Great Nom de Plume, BTW.

    I for one am getting littler, all the time.

    thinLee, speaking, that is
    2768 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6576689
    Thanks for sharing this!
    Glad you are seeing the amazing woman you are!! You are right, so many of us are so quick to belittle ourselves and not believe in ourselves.
    We are all a work in progress, we just have to remember that we are worth the effort!!
    2768 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2716064
    So many people just don't see any value in themselves, and it's really sad to see how young it can start, I work in an elementary school and the kids that talk themselves down at such a young age just makes me want to cry.
    2768 days ago
    i am so with you here girl, what a great place spark is where we can all lift each other up with a dose of positive reality. let me know if you learn any good tips and tricks for being gentler on yourself!
    2768 days ago
    I totally agree. We usually don't appreciate our own true worth and we should.
    2768 days ago
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