10 years from now...

Today on Spark Coach we watched a video with Coach Nicole. She had us visualize what things would be like 10 years from now. Where would we be living? Who would we be living with? What would we see in the morning when we woke up? She had many more questions. And I can not visualize that far in the future. Things with my mental illness are unpredictable. Right now I am struggling with a few things. I am not in a crisis, but struggling.

I know I will be 60 years old in ten years. I don't know where I will be living or if I will still have Snickers. I have heard cats live a long time. I hope he is still with me. I think I will still be living alone with Snickers as my companion cat. I don't see myself getting married again. That is now...who knows? Maybe I will, but no plans to right now!

I hope I won't be in more pain than I am now. I would hope that my osteoporosis doesn't get worse. I will still be attending church. Where I don't know, because I don't know where I will be living! I would hope I wouldn't be in the same apartment as sometimes it just feels so small. It is a one bedroom and I would really like to have a two bedroom. Whether it be a house, newer trailer or if need be, an apartment. It would have to be a place that Snickers could be. So many rentals don't allow pets.

I hope all my siblings will still be alive. They will be in their 60's nearing 70. I dread the day one of my siblings is hospitalized or dies. Death is very hard and the void it creates makes it harder on me to continue with my life. Grief is a normal part of life. I just don't like it. But who does??

I hope I will be maintaining a healthy lifestyle and maintaining my weight. I hope my mental illness is controlled with medication and that if I am in therapy it is not once a month. I wish to go longer. I figure if I haven't dealt with a few things by then what good have all the sessions I have had so far with my therapist.

I know I am a thriver. Not just a survivor! I am going to continue to thrive as long as I live. I am going to continue to fight for what I feel is right! And I am going to live my life on my terms. I don't know what my life will look like in ten years, but I do know I will still be me!! Hopefully a healthy, thinner me!!