Thank heavens for SP
Saturday, April 27, 2013
I've been wondering (a lot, actually) if I'm the only one who feels like this or not. I have found that it's easier to express my worries, frustrations, fears, irritations, celebrations, etc. with people here that I've never met than with my real life friends. I have good real life friends, but they just don't understand. My friends have never been obese like I was...they don't know what it's like to get the looks (I know you know what I mean) or even worse, DON'T get any looks when you go out with your thin friends (completely crushing). They don't know how it feels to be the biggest person in the room. They don't know how it feels to still see the fat girl in the mirror (even though I "know" that I'm 110.7 pounds smaller). They just don't get it, and it's frustrating.
I've tried to explain my feelings to my friends, and it's about the most disheartening thing to see your friend absolutely not understand. It gets even worse when my concerns just get dismissed by what she's trying to have be encouraging comments, but they just make me feel worse. I'm not looking for a quick fix...I'm just looking for someone to listen, empathize, and that's about it. I know what I need to do, and I'm working VERY hard to keep doing it. I just need someone to listen, and I wish it could be my real-life friends, but I've come to the very sad conclusion it just can't be.
It's a sad realization to come to...to realize that your very best friend isn't going to be able to share in one of the biggest things you will do in your entire life. It's like a massive rain-cloud over your friendship, and it sucks.
I am just SO thankful to have the people here at SP to lean on. This is just WAY too daunting of a task to do alone, so even though I've never met any of you in person, I appreciate just being able to share this experience with you! Together...