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Lesson #4: BE VULNERABLE: Loose the bubble wrap

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Yesterday in my blog entry Lesson #3: DOUBLE IS TROUBLE: A tribute to my chin, I brazenly posted a couple pictures of my arch nemesis, my double chin. It is the true reason I am unhappy with my weight, which is odd because even though my weight registers at the Morbidly Obese scale, I do not carry all my weight in my chin. But, as I stated yesterday. I would keep all the weight on my body if I could get rid of that little wobble under my chin.

This is me being vulnerable. I recently watched a great TED video that was recommended by Oprah (she and her staff really do know how to select great stuff). I was inspired by Brene Brown's talk on vulnerability. I highly recommend watching it. It can be found here:


I plan to read her book as well, this summer and I assume I will have to post a book review on this site.


I really think the my entire weight problem stems from the fact that I have been so protective of my sensitive self that I wrap myself in fat to protect myself. I have never been thin, even as a child, and I can't even imagine what it would be like to be thin. I long ago (like, in Grade 3), gave up believing that I ever could be thin and began to wrap myself in a protective coating of bubble wrap which manifests itself as FAT.

I truly believe that I wear my weight like a shield, a physical armor from the world.

If I loose weight will I get hurt because I have to experience the world more fully? Probably so.

Is it worth it?

Probably so. We'll see.


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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    So, I just watched the video. I was thinking of deleting my other comment, but I think I will let it stay. The video was grand. I am going to have to do a lot of soul searching. But it gave me lots to think about.
    Thanks for sharing
    F. G.
    2684 days ago
    Personally I don't think that fat is a protector for me. What would I be protecting my self from with fat??????
    I think that when I am not being strong I give in to instant gratification. Food works like a tranquilizer for me. When I am upset I can calm myself with food. It is my drug. When I am happy I want to celebrate with food. It is my drug of choice. Not just any food. Well any food as long as it is accompanied by these 3 very important components
    2. starch
    3. sugar
    If I give up one of the 3 I tend to over do with the other 2. If I give up 2 I go crazy with the last one (whichever one that it is) but if I give up all 3 my appitite decreases and I have more energy and I function better. So I consider the 3 or any combination of 1 or more to be my illegal drug. I am not drug free at this time, but I am working on it
    2684 days ago
  • no profile photo CD575791
    I'm all for using blog/vlog as "therapy" thanks for writing about yourself emoticon
    2684 days ago
    Thanks for sharing the link. I loved it so much that I re-posted in on facebook.
    2684 days ago
    Thanks to everyone for your wonderful comments. Yes Miss @Emily0724 I do believe that I could use some therapy. I think I may consider that for my summer break from school (I'm a teacher). I have had therapy in the past. I had a great therapist, but she was in Maine and I moved to Georgia. I do have insurance too so, really, I have no excuse!

    Blogging is kind of my therapy though. I figure I'll just be vulnerable and say it here and maybe that will help me. Journaling has long been a strategy of therapists.

    Thanks for everyone's comments!

    2685 days ago
  • EMILY0724
    It sounds like you would benefit from some therapy. I love therapy!! I have learned sooo much about myself and how I relate to others. Sadly, my therapist "graduated" me last fall. I suppose that means I have progressed enough and learned skills to get me through the rest of my life without him. I don't regret a single minute!
    Before you say you have no health insurance, neither do I. There are programs (mine is called "Safety Net.") for low income patients or patients without insurance. I highly recommend this to you. Low self-esteem (which is what you have) is very damaging to every part of your life and health. You may feel that you don't deserve to be thin--or like you said--you wouldn't know how to act. You'll learn. Loving yourself is pretty fundamental to getting healthy.
    good luck in all your endeavors!
    2685 days ago
    Gosh I was just talking to one of my best supporters this morning and mentioned that I had seen my enormous weight gain over the past few years as my shield against the world, pain, and sadness. I told her I am becoming more confident and feeling more in control in my head, so that my body doesn't have to be my fortress anymore. Great thoughts! Thanks!
    2685 days ago
    Good luck! About 10 years ago, I was morbidly obese. It takes work to keep it off but I promise you will feel 100 times better! I started gaining some weight back (I like to bake and think I'm decent at it b/c people sometimes ask me to bring stuff to gatherings) and love sugar! I joined SparkPeople to get back on track. I found everything so much easier to do when I lost the weight. Best of luck!
    2685 days ago
    I am unable to watch video on this computer right now, but I will definitely check that link out - thank you for the post and the information, too!
    2685 days ago
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