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Lesson #4: BE VULNERABLE: Loose the bubble wrap

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Yesterday in my blog entry Lesson #3: DOUBLE IS TROUBLE: A tribute to my chin, I brazenly posted a couple pictures of my arch nemesis, my double chin. It is the true reason I am unhappy with my weight, which is odd because even though my weight registers at the Morbidly Obese scale, I do not carry all my weight in my chin. But, as I stated yesterday. I would keep all the weight on my body if I could get rid of that little wobble under my chin.

This is me being vulnerable. I recently watched a great TED video that was recommended by Oprah (she and her staff really do know how to select great stuff). I was inspired by Brene Brown's talk on vulnerability. I highly recommend watching it. It can be found here:

www.ted.com/talks/brene_
brown_on_vulnerability.html



I plan to read her book as well, this summer and I assume I will have to post a book review on this site.

ON VULNERABILITY AND ME:

I really think the my entire weight problem stems from the fact that I have been so protective of my sensitive self that I wrap myself in fat to protect myself. I have never been thin, even as a child, and I can't even imagine what it would be like to be thin. I long ago (like, in Grade 3), gave up believing that I ever could be thin and began to wrap myself in a protective coating of bubble wrap which manifests itself as FAT.



I truly believe that I wear my weight like a shield, a physical armor from the world.

If I loose weight will I get hurt because I have to experience the world more fully? Probably so.

Is it worth it?

Probably so. We'll see.

LOOSE THE BUBBLE WRAP PEOPLE. JUST LOOSE IT.

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  • FRANKLY5
    So, I just watched the video. I was thinking of deleting my other comment, but I think I will let it stay. The video was grand. I am going to have to do a lot of soul searching. But it gave me lots to think about.
    Thanks for sharing
    F. G.
    2684 days ago
  • FRANKLY5
    Personally I don't think that fat is a protector for me. What would I be protecting my self from with fat??????
    I think that when I am not being strong I give in to instant gratification. Food works like a tranquilizer for me. When I am upset I can calm myself with food. It is my drug. When I am happy I want to celebrate with food. It is my drug of choice. Not just any food. Well any food as long as it is accompanied by these 3 very important components
    1.fat
    2. starch
    3. sugar
    If I give up one of the 3 I tend to over do with the other 2. If I give up 2 I go crazy with the last one (whichever one that it is) but if I give up all 3 my appitite decreases and I have more energy and I function better. So I consider the 3 or any combination of 1 or more to be my illegal drug. I am not drug free at this time, but I am working on it
    hugs
    F.G.
    2684 days ago
  • no profile photo CD575791
    I'm all for using blog/vlog as "therapy" thanks for writing about yourself emoticon
    2684 days ago
  • LOSIN_IT4GOOD
    Thanks for sharing the link. I loved it so much that I re-posted in on facebook.
    2684 days ago
  • MSNICHOLS39
    Thanks to everyone for your wonderful comments. Yes Miss @Emily0724 I do believe that I could use some therapy. I think I may consider that for my summer break from school (I'm a teacher). I have had therapy in the past. I had a great therapist, but she was in Maine and I moved to Georgia. I do have insurance too so, really, I have no excuse!

    Blogging is kind of my therapy though. I figure I'll just be vulnerable and say it here and maybe that will help me. Journaling has long been a strategy of therapists.

    Thanks for everyone's comments!

    Andrea
    emoticon
    2685 days ago
  • EMILY0724
    It sounds like you would benefit from some therapy. I love therapy!! I have learned sooo much about myself and how I relate to others. Sadly, my therapist "graduated" me last fall. I suppose that means I have progressed enough and learned skills to get me through the rest of my life without him. I don't regret a single minute!
    Before you say you have no health insurance, neither do I. There are programs (mine is called "Safety Net.") for low income patients or patients without insurance. I highly recommend this to you. Low self-esteem (which is what you have) is very damaging to every part of your life and health. You may feel that you don't deserve to be thin--or like you said--you wouldn't know how to act. You'll learn. Loving yourself is pretty fundamental to getting healthy.
    good luck in all your endeavors!
    2685 days ago
  • JOKINCHINGTON
    Gosh I was just talking to one of my best supporters this morning and mentioned that I had seen my enormous weight gain over the past few years as my shield against the world, pain, and sadness. I told her I am becoming more confident and feeling more in control in my head, so that my body doesn't have to be my fortress anymore. Great thoughts! Thanks!
    2685 days ago
  • MISTYWILSON1
    Good luck! About 10 years ago, I was morbidly obese. It takes work to keep it off but I promise you will feel 100 times better! I started gaining some weight back (I like to bake and think I'm decent at it b/c people sometimes ask me to bring stuff to gatherings) and love sugar! I joined SparkPeople to get back on track. I found everything so much easier to do when I lost the weight. Best of luck!
    2685 days ago
  • ANASARI
    emoticon
    I am unable to watch video on this computer right now, but I will definitely check that link out - thank you for the post and the information, too!
    2685 days ago
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