Wednesday, May 29, 2013
I have to pull myself out of this. Two years of circling in this depression and self destructiveness is more than enough. I have made progress but lately it is two steps forward and one and a half back. I do so well for a few days and then cannot drag myself out of bed. I feel helpless and angry so much of the time. I know what I need to do, but sometimes it doesn't feel worth the effort.
That sounds so whiny and I am sorry. I guess I really just needed to see how pathetic it is so I can move forward. I have whined enough. I wish I could say that I will never come back here again, but I always seem to end up in this place. For today, I am determined to move forward. It all begins with one step. Today I have taken steps to improve my physical health and now I am taking steps to improve my mental health. I know that I can get where I am going, but I have to let go of the past. Now if only I can follow my own advice and don't look back.