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Wednesday, June 19, 2013

This has been a very difficult month for me in every way imaginable. I have been physically ill twice now (sinus/allergy/bronchitis issues). In fact, I am sick as I write this. I also have had some major problems that need to be repaired at the house. So, for the last few days I have been staying with my daughter. I am back for a few days anyway. Hopefully I will get those issues sorted out soon. I am really tired and weak physically and emotionally right now. So, its understandable that I am really down, right? That's what I keep telling myself anyway. I am pretty low on funds right now as well, given the repairs that I have had to pay for. That makes it really difficult for me to eat right. And to be honest, I haven't been doing that very well all month. Its no wonder I am up three pounds this week! That bums me out even more...... I want to regain control, but, don't seem to be able to for some reason. I know I need to be back here MORE. That would certainly be a step in the right direction. I hate when I do this to myself, but even more I hate when I KNOW I am doing it and can't seem to STOP the insanity!!
Tomorrow is another day... and I am determined that I will never give up trying to get healthy. I have to .........there's no other option!
Looming forever in front of me is the final hearing for my divorce. I am sure that is playing a part of my emotional state. I am beyond tired of all of this.. I am bone weary. I pray that God will give me the strength I need to push through all of this so I can rebuild my life that has been torn apart and left in shambles.
Please pray for me ... and thank you to all of you who read my ramblings, those who post encouraging words, and even those who read this and say a silent prayer for me. I appreciate your support more than words can ever say.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Put yourself first and don't look back. When you are taking care of YOU, you will be more open and able to do for others, too. Think about positive thoughts of new beginnings and the freedom to be who you are! emoticon
    2707 days ago
    Oh, MellieSue, I've been there, and know the feeling. You can do this, one day, one hour, one minute at a time. You have received some awesome words of support from us here at Spark--so many people are pulling for you. To be dealing with health, financial and emotional (and legal) issues is a huge mountain to climb. It's OK to stop and rest for a minute or two. I hope you have some little joy you can give yourself--a few minutes to read or play music, a favorite flavor of Snapple to enjoy, or some bit of nature to focus on awhile. If nothing else, take three deep, slow breaths. Here's a personal note: In the middle of my darkest time, the only way I could get myself out the door and on my way to work was knowing that the morning sun would glint off the snowbanks and refract in pink, yellow and blue. It was the promise of seeing this light that got me going, and today (6 years later), it is the flash of sun on ice crystals that I see in my mind's eye when I need a moment to regroup. Look for tiny miracles every day. I promise you, they are there. God Bless you and strengthen you. emoticon
    2720 days ago
    You have an awful lot going on right now, dear friend. I know that no one but you knows how you feel, especially since all areas of your life seem to be in turmoil right now.

    But you came here today. You blogged your feelings. You stepped up. So it'll be okay. You can't control all this, and certainly can't change some of it. But you can treat yourself well RIGHT NOW. You can do something healthy, even if it's a very small thing, that is what you know you need to do for yourself. Each small thing will bring you a bit more confidence, and will assure you that this is just a bump in the road. You're here for a reason, Mellie, maybe many reasons, and maybe only one of them is the weight you don't want.

    You've got a whole crowd here praying for you...even if "some" of us don't post much :), and we're all on your side. Hang in there, Mellie. God hears you.
    emoticon Gail
    2720 days ago
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    Praying for you as you go through this difficult time. God will carry you through, He loves you! emoticon
    2720 days ago
  • BEEJAY49
    You have been and are going through so much. Yes, it is understandable that things are dragging you down. Don't be so hard on yourself. Things will work out in His time. You will be in my prayers. God Bless and Hugs!
    2720 days ago
    emoticon emoticon Prayers and peace.
    I know just how you feel. From November of 2012 up to now I have had so many trials. I just wrote a blog though telling that I am feeling much better after TKR.
    I am expecting to have the other one done soon.
    Keep looking up.
    2720 days ago
    I'm so sorry, Mellie, to hear that you are sick and still waiting for closure on your divorce. I know you are weary and tired of all the emotional ups and downs of this struggle. I will certainly pray for you. God knows exactly where you are and the whys of all that you are experiencing. Even though this may not be of much consolation right now I can assuredly say that "this, too, shall pass" and there is a "better day" awaiting you. Rest in the Lord and let Him carry you through to the other side!
    2720 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12398671
    Sending you strength and clarity through all you're going through. Take time to take care of you and remember, there's always sun after the storm. Hang in there.
    2720 days ago
  • MARIANNE9855
    just keep trying and don't give up and remember when we eat about something then we give ourselves two problems. I know how hard it is- things have been not so great lately for me but I was able to taking little bits of time off but keep going on most things. Coming on Spark People and just reading is what really helped me and sometimes posting support for someone else is the best thing we can do for ourselves! We are here for you and understand how hard life can be. emoticon
    2720 days ago
    I can relate to what you're going through in so many ways. I will say a prayer for your quick recovery and regaining your strength, physically and emotionally, and hope that you remember to do what you can and let God do the rest.

    2720 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13894524
    emoticon for you through your troubling times.
    2720 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14026830

    I will certainly be praying for you. You have a lot going on, and life is tough for you right now. I'm so glad that you shared so that we can support you. And know with all your heart that The Supporter, our Lord God, is there for you every single step of the way.

    emoticon Sue
    2720 days ago
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