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Eating as punishment

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

OK so I have been having counselling and tonight I think I had an epiphany. I have a big bike ride at the weekend and for the past couple of weeks I have been eating good food and taking care of my body for the ride. Suddenly I feel worthy of my respect because I am eating well. Then suddenly it dawned on me that I have been eating junk as a way to beat myself up - for saying something silly or eating badly or whatever it is I feel I need to punish myself for before someone else does. It has becomes like a security blanket - a way to protect myself from other people. I feel like if I can be more assertive and balanced, I can let go of the security blanket
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  • _LINDA
    Good for you! There is a reason they call it comfort food.. We are all guilty of diving into it when things aren't going well. That is awesome you are fueling up your body properly for your ride! Here is hoping you can continue long after its over!
    Keep up the great work!!
    2711 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5821225
    That is a great step in the right direction to realize when and why you reach for the bad food. Great job and I find myself an emotional eater. I eat certain things depending on my mood, so I definitely can relate.
    2716 days ago
    i sometimes think of my fat as a shield. and if i eat sweets i dont have to worry about stress or sadness. for the longest time i refused to let myself lose too much weight. i was content with being heavier because my old clothes fit again. instead i should have held on to my momentum and kept going.
    2717 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10081037
    never thought of it that way before interesting!!
    2717 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13342094
    Well, yeah. It's frightening how easily we do something harmful to ourselves when we'd never allow someone else to do that to us (ideally), or we'd be horrified at the thought of doing it to someone else.

    Years ago, my mom told me "You're quick to leap to the defense of everyone but yourself." I've gotten a lot better, but the hardest saboteur to ignore is the one who lives in my own head. Because you've had this "ah-ha!" moment, you've taken a huge step toward changing that behavior. emoticon
    2717 days ago
    Interesting thought.
    2717 days ago
    Good point, I hadn't thought of it as being able to let go, rather as being forced to let go before I'm ready. I will try to look at it your way and maybe it will be a little easier. Thanks for sharing.
    2717 days ago
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