"Showing you pity doesn't do you any favours"
Sunday, July 28, 2013
That is one of my favourite Jillian Michaels quotes - they also have it up on the wall in the biggest loser gym.
At first glance some may see it as harsh. But look a little closer... what is she really saying? Not to show pity when someone is upset? Not to show pity when someone needs a helping hand?
Where we make the mistake is showing pity and looking for pity when what we really need is a good old fashioned dose of hardcore reality. Someone telling us "its okay take the day off and relax instead of going to gym - you have been working so hard" doesn't help anyone!
Telling yourself "its ok eat that burger and milkshake and cake because you've had a bad day and deserve something to make you feel better" and having someone validate that for you by saying yes go ahead it is ok, is NOT doing you any favours.
Showing pity when the person is trying to quit, or find an excuse to stay sad and unhealthy or 'fail' by giving up is not doing anyone any favours.
Sometimes the best way you can help someone and be helped by someone is not the kind pat on the back and the 'its ok'. Sometimes its the harder route - saying no. you are not giving up. no you are not going to sabotage yourself. no I am not going to let you make yourself feel like a failure again.
Its saying get up and come train with me. Or throw that junk away and come eat a healthy meal with me.
That's really doing someone a favour