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Hungry: But its NOT Dinner Time

Friday, August 02, 2013

Okay ..... lets get real, I have been having food thoughts this afternoon, lots of them, my mind is trying to make me go eat something that is NOT time to eat. I've been thinking, ok I could have a few of those new walnuts I bought today. Or I could go look in the fridge and see what is there, but I already know what is in there. Or blah blah blah...... I know this merry go round, and its crazy making. I know this is not a good thing for me to be giving any energy to at all. I know I need to STOP, and PAUSE, push pause button now please { PAUSE } and breathe.

Because it is NOT dinner time, I have already eaten a nice breakfast of eggs and watermelon, I had a peach and about 5 nuts after my 2 hours of swimming at the pool, and when I got home I had a late lunch, only about 2 hours ago of a chicken breast and a half a plate of strawberries. It will not even be close to dinner until at least 2 hours from now, 3 would be better. So I cannot go graze the fridge or cupboards for something to EAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have enough faith in my program to know if I wait this will pass, if I do not give in and take my self will back, I will not make the poor choice to break my abstinence and eat something bad for me, or not on my plan. I have a loving higher power who wants me to learn to love myself enough to NOT hurt myself with food any more, like I have for so long and so devastatingly. Overeating is bad for me, it is not a loving caring thing for me to do to myself, it is harmful to me on so many levels.

If I did overeat now how would I feel? Well I would feel pretty sorry for myself, and ashamed too. I would feel like a failure again. I would feel like I might lose track and get off the beam so to speak. I cannot afford to take the first compulsive bite, I cannot do it. If I do then I am making that food my higher power, and I do not want to do that today.

So I am powerless over these food cravings and my life is unmanageable at the moment because of them.
Altho my brain wants food my body does not need it and it is not the healthy part of my brain that is singing the food siren song to me today. So that makes me powerless, but I do believe in my program and in a power much much greater than me that can return my sanity to me.

I know it because this has happened for the last 103 days. I have been given sane eating for 103 days and that means I have ONE more day of sane eating available to me. So what do I do? I know I am making a decision to turn my will and my life over to the god of my understanding, no one else', mine. My God loves me and will help me as long as I ask for help, and I am doing that now. Please God, take my will and my life, guide me in my recovery and show me how to live.

I wrote this to help myself be real about this process and this hunger I was feeling. I feel better already and I feel stronger now, God gives me ALL the power I need to not eat anything in the kitchen, be it good or bad or anything else, I can wait til dinner. So,I am going to drink a bottle of water, watch my Giants play Tampa Bay and stay true to my program. Thank you God for the most wonderful program I have ever known to help me battle my addiction to food.

That's all I've got~


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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon blog!
    Just like HWNHMMBRD, if it is okay with your plan, I have found hot tea with lemon really helps me a lot to get over an "I have to Eat!" moment!
    Keep up the great work!

    2806 days ago
    Hot water help me when I get that way. I don't know if tea is paleo, but hot green tea when I want flavor. Glad you got through the whole thing.
    2808 days ago
    Got thru it all, it was the writing it all out that helped the most, had my big salad at 8pm and was fine all night long~ there is a way to not overeat just for today, I just have to follow the suggestions.
    2809 days ago
  • KITT52
    when I feel this this way and I am not really hungry I eat 1/2 a cucumber or celery..if that doesn't sound good It usually means I am not really hungry.....just want to eat...
    hope you figured it out
    2809 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5465013
    So I read this and think, are you really HUNGRY (like stomach growling)? If SO, then you should have a healthy snack. Depriving ACTUAL hunger is counterproductive your body will rebel and hold fat. I suggest a half portion of a meal if you are really hungry, with the stomach growling too. For a CRAVING you did the right thing. emoticon
    2809 days ago
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