Stuck In A Rut? Or Scared To Go Forward?
Monday, September 09, 2013
I have been stuck at this weight for a month now and it's frustrating. It seems I have been doing everything right but the body is stubborn. My goal is close, but seems so far. UGH!
Well, I have been here before, but still managed to reached my goal. It was about 6 years ago. I lost all the weight I needed to...and it was HARD.
But the people I looked to for support, began to criticized because they were jealous people. I was going through the death of my husband at the time, which was hard enough, and then this? I was so discouraged.
Soon after, I was put into a position where it seemed ALL my efforts were criticized. Even the ones not having to do with weight loss. The point is, that I was doing it for all the right reasons, but because people wanted to control me, they wanted to control every part of me and did not want me to change into a better person. Sad isn't it?
Yet, I realize I allowed them to do this to me....BUT NO MORE.
Still, this experience has stuck with me and I realized that the fear it may happen again to me, lingers.
I was at the perfect weight for me...160 lbs. And then, the weight gradually began to creep back on and then some. I was mortified, felt defeated, old and burnt out. Something in my mind said, "You'll never get back there again."
That was a long time ago. Since then, I have proved that voice a liar and lost all the weight but 17 lbs of it! SO CLOSE!
Trouble was, that in the back of my mind, I had no idea that fear was still controlling me.
I realized that the voice was saying something different...
"You won't be able to maintain it...it will be taken away from you again."
I began to seek God for answers.
I heard something at church yesterday, "We get scared when God wants us to step into the Promise Land. Because we see all of it's abundance and we shrink back in disbelief saying, "But God, I can't maintain it." The pastor said, "It is not your job to maintain the Victory. It is your job to do your part...the rest is up to God."
So, if God is the One providing the Victory, and the Power that brings me Victory, Why wouldn't He also maintain it? That was the answer I needed.
Deep down, is it because I feel unworthy to have this blessing?
Yet I remember God blesses us because He is Good and He wants to... just because. Though we still have to do the "work", we never need to "earn" our worthiness of Blessing. I want Him to have the Glory over this...and I want to be obedient. He is my courage...He has been encouraging me the whole way! IF HE IS FOR ME, WHO CAN BE AGAINST ME?
I have given my fear over to God and asked Him to show me 5 things I need to change to shake things up and get the rest of this weight off...this was #5.
1. Go to bed earlier
2. Switch up workout routine
3. Tweak nutrition
4. Eat more veggies
5. Trust God to maintain the Victory