Can I first just say, I'm loving blogging these 'reasons why I want to lose weight' right now. It's really giving me a focus, and to think about these mental 'issues' that I feel hold me back from losing weight, as weird as that sounds. Yeah, they're reasons why I want to lose weight, but I also feel like if I don't get past these issues, I will never lose the weight. That makes no sense. Whatever. Moving on…
So this one. The number of times I've been told I have a 'pretty face', I can't tell you. I have to laugh because I do find it so hard to just take a compliment as a compliment and say 'thanks' and move on! What is that about?! lol When I hear 'you have a pretty face', a little voice in my head sometimes whispers 'shame about the body', as if that's what the person really is thinking! Yikes! I know exactly where this has come from though. When I was about 15 (yeah I know, going back a bit), I was walking in a shopping centre and these 2 boys were walking towards me. One of the boys nudged his friend and indicated towards me, and loud and clear as day the friend said 'nope! Nice face, not the body!'. I was mortified, and had to just walk past and pretend I hadn’t heard them! At 15 years old, that is NOT what you want to hear from boys. It has stuck with me to this day for some reason. Again, what's that about?! I didn’t know these boys, but 11 years later I still remember it like it was yesterday.
I get this feeling quite a lot. My mum always tells me I have a 'presence' when I walk into a room, and whenever I'm with my little cousins (they are 12 and 13 but think they are my age! haha) they are always hissing at guys and asking me why everyone is staring at me (lol they are very bold these little girls, love them!). I wish I could just feel like they are admiring me, for whatever reason, but I hardly ever feel like that. Or I just think 'oh, it's because I'm tall (5'10), that's why they're looking' (how lame, eh!). I absolutely love love love being tall, do not get me wrong. But being tall and overweight has made me feel like a big bruiser walking into a room sometimes! Eeeeek!
If I'm honest, I am slowly getting over this one I think. I feel really really pretty at the moment. I came into work yesterday with my hair in a new style, my make-up done, a nice work-dress that I hardly ever wear. And I felt GREAT. I walked in and so many of my colleagues were like 'Wow! You look so nice!'. Someone even called me a 'Glamazon'! Haha! Me?! Glamazon?! Alright, I'll take it
That was me on Saturday with my new hair! First time i've tried this little 'up-do' and I think I like it.
Happy week Sparkies