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March Needs Help

Monday, March 17, 2014

Well, I wish I could say as soon as I was starting to feel a bit better, legitimately, that I jumped right back up and picked up my good habits where I left off. Unfortunately, that's not the case at all.

emoticon I decided to weigh myself this week to see how much damage I have done and where I'll be starting when I do get back to it. I was not at all surprised by the number on the scale, but still very sad and disappointed by it. All the hard work I'd done up to this point, the 5lbs I've lost since the beginning of January, have pretty much been wiped out in just two short weeks. The scale reflected a 4lb gain.

emoticon In the last two weeks, I got a grand total of 238 fitness minutes. Not even the 250 I normally get in one week. So, so sad. Right now my family and I have been fundraising for my kitty's surgery, and we're a little short on storage space, so our yard sale items have basically taken up all the space in the living room. Where my treadmill is... and where I do all my workouts. I used to do them in my room, but I've got some space issues in there now also (residuals from depression that I haven't been able to get back to normal yet), so the living room was a good place. Also had a lot more space. I've also had some arthritis pain in my right thumb that has aggravated an old wrist injury, so I've limited use of my right hand (and I am NOT a lefty!) so I can't even dig my way to the treadmill 'cuz I can't lift the boxes. :-(

emoticon Food has still not been up to par. Improved, yes, especially since my throat is no longer sore and I don't feel the need to eat ice cream constantly. But, still not great. Also, I ate at my normal levels even though I wasn't exercising, so I should have reduced my calories/macros. And I didn't. Lame. Lame on my part. I've been struggling getting in veggies and haven't had any fruit in the house to struggle to try to eat. :-S Blurgh.

I am stressed out to the max. I feel like I'm drowning in all sorts of tasks, responsibilities, etc. I'm barely treading water, keeping my head just above the waves. I have homework up the Wazoo- a 5-7 page research paper due on Wednesday in my religion class and who knows how many bazillions of assignments to be assigned with only 1 day to do them all thanks to the BLEEP FACE that teaches a&p tomorrow afternoon. I have driving responsibilities for the family to appointments and errands. We've only gotten half the money needed for Louie's surgery and it sucks to watch him struggle daily. No one NO ONE is helping me do anything around the house. My bro did half the dishes one day, but didn't finish... I can't do much with my wrist in a splint, so I couldn't help finish the other half. Needless to say, my kitchen is trashed. It's disgusting and filthy in there. I'd be ashamed and embarrassed to show anyone the inside of my kitchen.

And since I don't have access to my living room I have no way to exercise. It's already in the 90's outside here, so working out in the "great outdoors" is not in the cards. Therefore, I don't have an outlet for my stress.

I don't have a solution to any of this right now. I went ahead and got the SparkPeople app to track food easier. Not that I liked paying $4 for that s***, but I want everything in one place: Food tracker, fitness tracker, supportive community. I want to be able to get back to my workouts. I know I'll essentially be starting over completely at this point. Back to walking instead of training for jogging. This month has been such a setback and a bummer. :-(
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    One day at a time, Jillybean. You can do it. Remember what you did as you pulled yourself out of the depths of depression: spiritual time seemed important, and even just a short walk each day or whatever you could manage seemed to help.

    You are facing difficult set of circumstances, but you are strong -- much more so, I think, than you realize. Try not to look too hard at the forest, just focus one tree. When you get past that tree, focus on the next one.

    And of course, get in touch whenever you need to. You have friends (although they may be slow in responding to you, ahem) who care about you.
    2591 days ago
    You still inspire me Jillybean! With RunningKat, your determination will get you there....and SDL, be aware of what you are taking in *isn't you that likes the little candy bar snack? I too, am guilty of a sweet tooth :P Know that you are not alone in the struggle, been a rough month here too....the month's half over, haven't reached any goals....and the scale gives back the same reflection....plus a few more pounds, ugh!

    I commend anyone who tries to be fit and healthy, have a demanding job, AND is getting an education. Tell my college crew I work with.....I don't miss school one bit. I can get my lectures on subjects I enjoy from PBS, NatGeo, Discover channels~and surfing the web (little more dangerous for accurate information) and I don't have to be tested on it~tee hee!

    Happy St. Patrick's day.....stay away from the green sugar cookies ;)
    2593 days ago
    So sorry this month has been so tough for you Jill. Sending lots of hugs your way! I admire your diligence and determination with all that you take care of in your life! I hope your family is very grateful for everything that you do. And I know the frustration of set-backs all too well. I'm here for you! I wish I lived closer! I would totally help you out in any way that you need help. emoticon
    2594 days ago
    emoticon Don't give up. How can we help?
    2594 days ago
    Oh dear...... You certainly have a lot going on and it sounds like you're doing the best you can. As much as you want to have time for homework and training and chores, you just don't. That happens. That was me last semester. I had to prioritize. And sometimes my priorities simply didn't include exercise because there were too many non-flexibles. In those cases I paid extra careful attention to my food. No exercise, no sweets. That was what worked for me. Take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Take some time to feel the emotional weight of everything you're going through. It's a lot and you need to acknowledge it and process it so you can keep going. Make a list of the things you have control over then spend some time feeling that power. Then create your priorities list, beginning with the unmovables.

    You can do this, Jill. I'm here for you. Hugs!
    2594 days ago
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