Friday, March 28, 2014
I've gone from suffering with insomnia almost every night to sleeping for 6 or so hours at night and then having to have a nap in the day time but for 4/5 hours. I have to take my medication morning and night, but when I take it in the morning, an hour or so later I need to sleep and feel absolutely awful until I do. It's fine that it makes me tired at night but it's really interferring with my day having to sleep most of the afternoon! I'm still waiting for follow up with the community mental health team after being on a section, since I got out of hospital in February I've had no follow up at all. I really need to speak to a psychiatrist about coming off this medication. It is helping my mood and the psychosis has gone but I can't function normally because I'm too exhausted. I don't want to just stop taking it which is what I would do normally, but I'm looking for work again now I'm feeling marginally better, it will be difficult if I need to sleep in the day to feel normal though!
I had the first of my mandatory alcohol sessions today (I got a conditional caution for the police assault and have to attend six). It's kinda pointless because I'm not alcohol dependent (this is their words, not just my opinion), my issue is that I occasionally binge drink and end up doing stupid things. I drink when my mood is really low, when I'm feeling ok I don't drink. The problem is that when I'm feeling really bad I don't care about what happens to me, so drink even though I know it makes it worse. I need to go to them anyway, one good thing is that they have also referred me to their mental health worker, and appointment with him count towards the mandatory sessions- it might be helpful- at the very least they said he can chase up the community mental health team and get me moved up the waiting list!
I also had an appointment with a lady from Mind, I was looking to do some voluntary work through them to get back into a routine and relative normality. I'm also doing an art therapy course through them and maybe when I'm feeling better I'll do some of the other group courses they offer, not big on talking at the moment so art therapy sounds better than the depression or anxiety groups.
That was a very long post about my mental health or lack thereof, the point is though I'm moving forwards and eating better and exercising more is easier when I'm feeling better!