April 16 2014 There is a Season for all things. Change is Important.
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
I am changing everyday. My Dad who I have not seen since January said to me the other day. You sound changed is everything OK. Yes and no on everything being OK Dad. There are so many things I wanted to tell him that day but for me this was NSV because my father and I have always had a hard time connecting since I got married. Change is exciting and Good, Painful ,Confusing but a necessary thing.
There were no treadmills available today so I Added a set to todays things I did of ( Ball Ab crunches .) I have to admit ," I Hate" working out my core." I hate it ....... I see my little nose wrinkle up and my braids toss as I fold my arms stubbornly over each other and shake my head NO.... NOPE I WILL NOT WORK MY ABS. This is all in my minds eye of course of me being stubborn as a child. My inner child is still quite stubborn about such things. But I am a grown women and I am the Boss chickie poo so get on that ball and crunch.
It was not easy. I was embarrassed and a tiny bit Insecure. I look like I am at least six months along and my shirt of course kept popping up. It felt like a lot of work but I am not even a tiny bit sore so I know deep down inside I need to work those abs harder. I know I want them to be stronger so I can do a real sit up again in the next year. I know a Strong middle section will be a big difference in how I see myself and my self esteem.
On this Journey I think it is important to really dig deep and figure out some of the internal things that have gotten me the way I am so that I can correct them . Also so I don't repeat them. I not sure how I let my middle get so out of shape except for many years of not consistently eating well and working out. Also I think after my third daughter (who is turning seventeen in a couple of weeks ) I was Hoping ........ for another child or two. I just never have felt like my family was complete. So somewhere unconsciously I think my round belly made me hopeful that I would have a reason to have a swollen abdomen. I suppose it is never to late but since I have never done anything to keep from having another baby I just crack it up as not meant to be. I am so Blessed to have each of my daughters. Time for me to get my abs back in shape as I wait to be a first time Grandma sometime this fall. There is a Season for all things right.
Anyway this ended up way longer than I planned. Hope you all have a Great day.