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April 16 2014 There is a Season for all things. Change is Important.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

I am changing everyday. My Dad who I have not seen since January said to me the other day. You sound changed is everything OK. Yes and no on everything being OK Dad. There are so many things I wanted to tell him that day but for me this was NSV because my father and I have always had a hard time connecting since I got married. Change is exciting and Good, Painful ,Confusing but a necessary thing.

There were no treadmills available today so I Added a set to todays things I did of ( Ball Ab crunches .) I have to admit ," I Hate" working out my core." I hate it ....... I see my little nose wrinkle up and my braids toss as I fold my arms stubbornly over each other and shake my head NO.... NOPE I WILL NOT WORK MY ABS. This is all in my minds eye of course of me being stubborn as a child. My inner child is still quite stubborn about such things. But I am a grown women and I am the Boss chickie poo so get on that ball and crunch.

It was not easy. I was embarrassed and a tiny bit Insecure. I look like I am at least six months along and my shirt of course kept popping up. It felt like a lot of work but I am not even a tiny bit sore so I know deep down inside I need to work those abs harder. I know I want them to be stronger so I can do a real sit up again in the next year. I know a Strong middle section will be a big difference in how I see myself and my self esteem.

On this Journey I think it is important to really dig deep and figure out some of the internal things that have gotten me the way I am so that I can correct them . Also so I don't repeat them. I not sure how I let my middle get so out of shape except for many years of not consistently eating well and working out. Also I think after my third daughter (who is turning seventeen in a couple of weeks ) I was Hoping ........ for another child or two. I just never have felt like my family was complete. So somewhere unconsciously I think my round belly made me hopeful that I would have a reason to have a swollen abdomen. I suppose it is never to late but since I have never done anything to keep from having another baby I just crack it up as not meant to be. I am so Blessed to have each of my daughters. Time for me to get my abs back in shape as I wait to be a first time Grandma sometime this fall. There is a Season for all things right.

Anyway this ended up way longer than I planned. Hope you all have a Great day.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    What an honest blog! Wish more people were like you. Thank you for this because right now I feel a lot like you do.

    I am sorry to hear about you and your dad not being able to connect. Prayer can help that out I am positive.

    Keep working on you and continue to change and bloom into that beautiful woman who is waiting to come out.
    2415 days ago
    I know what you mean about the belly. Even when I was thin, it was a sore subject. I look back at pictures and don't understand why I still wasn't happy. We have to learn to love ourselves the way we are and anything beyond that is extra. Bless you!!
    2416 days ago
    This is such an important blog! Thank you for posting it! Della
    2416 days ago
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