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Drink V8 Green Juice if you wish to meet your Inner Swearing Sailor!

Thursday, April 24, 2014

While visiting my mom last weekend I was missing my juice. So I purchased a bottle of v8 simply green juice, no fruit in it at all to off set the green veggies or the lovely spirilina pond scum floating in it. To say it was a putrid concoction that induces an immediate shudder dance accompanied to a steady flow of foul language is a bit of an understatement. It was however fairly pricey and is in fact healthy so rather than flush it I decided I'd bring it home, throw it in a blender with some fruit and voila a healthy and tasty smoothie.

Today I made the smoothie. Remembering how gag worthy this juice was I decided to only use one cup of it thinking it would be easy to mask its foulness with fruit. I then added a cup of frozen blueberries...13 frozen green grapes...and a frozen banana. Gave it a blend and cautiously took a spoonful....a little sip...and OMG...OMG...OMG....it was impossible...it was only slightly less foul....my poor eyebrows were now living on top of my head, and my tongue and tastebuds tried to hide in my throat...my eyes watered copiously and my inner swearing sailor persona appeared and gave a rare demonstration of colorful verbosity.

Don't ask me why...I didn't flush it right then...I think perhaps its malodourous, cantankerous mold inducing vomit like fumes temporarily wiped out my ability to reason cognitively or effectivly....sooooooooooooooo
oooooooo I continued on my misguided path to not let V8's green juice win. I continued on...stopping and starting many times...

I added 1.5 cups of water...too early to taste..even I know that....
I added watermelon - taste.... - sailor
I added lemon - taste.... - sailor
I added more banana - taste... sailor..think sailor may be drunk.
I added yogurt - taste.... sailor is stuttering
I added chia seeds - taste.... - sailor is begging incoherently no more tastes....
I added scoop of vanilla protein powder.... taste....hmmmm no sailor...I think he is unconscious...hiding or both.

My brain may still be inoperative...but seems like I can drink it now. I have two cups in my glass...there are 4 more to go. Sailor may yet wake again.

So yah....don't buy that v8 green juice its a traumatic experience.

This is what my inner sailor on green juice looks like. Spinach is one thing Popeye...V8 Green juice is something else.
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