Not Quite ready for a come back
Sunday, May 04, 2014
I have been gone for a while now. Actually - I haven't. I have been right here the whole time. I have come and gone and hoped that I would have time to focus. Hoping just isn't getting it done any more. I need to pop the clutch.
Since my last blog post 3 - yep THREE - years ago, a lot has happened in my life. Through it all my weight has slowly and steadily crept back up. I am not happy about that at all. I went through a separation and then divorce that lasted more than 2 years. My sons have both spent scary time in the hospital. I changed jobs after 12 years with a single company and I replaced just about every single thing in my life.
I have fallen, literally and figuratively, and I have gotten back up, broken and sore.
My family, the folks who have stayed at arms length 200 miles away in another city, came and picked up the broken pieces for me. The held each piece gently and, when I was ready, helped me figure out how to put the pieces back in place. I am blessed to have such an awesome mom, dad, siblings, step family, aunts & uncles, and, most of all, kids. They have tolerated, nay embraced, the crying, lonely, miserable, confused, hurt, unsure mess that I have been for the last 3 years. They held me gently and let me work through it all.
The only thing that hasn't truly changed is me. I am still here. Oh, I have new hobbies. I salsa dance now; it is amazing. I ski whenever I can; bought myself a pass to the closest hill and use it whenever I can. I have found some new friends to replace those I lost in the divorce and I am always looking to expand that group of people. Don't let me paint the wrong picture, life is on the up and up.
The only thing I have left to do is honor my body the way that I am honoring and respecting my spirit. I almost have the eat, pray, love life going on. It is now time for me. I promise to let me be me and to allow me to be and feel. To encourage myself to grow and to honor my self the way I fuss at my friends to care for themselves.
That's why I am back. I can't guarantee I will blog much or even post much. I am overwhelmed by the need to report every detail of my life; Facebook is almost more than I can handle let alone Linked In & twitter. But still, I am back. You'll see me around, trying to get a grasp on my reality. I'll read my old posts and consider establishing some goals that will work in my new way of living.
I'll start drinking my water again and cut back on my sweetened drinks. I'll start to work out again and find some pattern that makes sense with my world. I will be gentle with myself but I will be accountable.
That's why I am back, even though I never really left...