Wednesday, May 21, 2014
I have no idea if anyone'll read this, but it's all right if no one does. It'd be great if someone does, but if no one does, well, no problem. I'm writing this just to get my thoughts out there, & I'm sure I'm not alone in my thoughts & feelings & such that I'll share here.
I don't like to admit to negativity in my life. My life's not perfect, & I don't think anyone would expect mine or anyone else's to be perfect. Life'd be pretty boring if it was. Sometimes I wish it was perfect, but, well, that's not the way things are.
I admit to getting quite down & to sinking down into depression at times, & it's always situational based for me. I can get myself out of it, although sometimes I sink so low that it's really hard to see the sky through the top of the well. I'm never so low that I lose all hope, but it does get pretty dark here sometimes.
Part of this is my nature, my personality. I'm a very introspective person, & sometimes I let my thoughts go to the bad stuff a lot more than they should. I like to be upbeat and positive, & I love to encourage others. How can I do that when I'm feeling down, though? Somehow, I usually find a way.
Some people can't be happy for others when they're down themselves, but I refuse to get that down. I like to be happy for other people, even if they get what I've always wanted.
I've been facing some hard truths about my life lately, & I won't go into most of them here. At least not today.
One of the biggest - no pun intended! - is my ever growing physical self. Yes, there are genetic factors from both sides of my family (both my parents & most of their family members have had life long struggles with their weight), but that's no excuse for me to just let myself go. I have to stop drinking Coke most days, and I have to make an effort to get Dublin (my cat) off my lap & get up to exercise. I have some exercise DVDs, & there're tonnes of videos on YouTube & other sites that I can use if the weather's bad.
I have to make the decision to get up & move, & I can't wait for inspiration to strike me & to get me up & going.
I have some friends who're true inspirations to me. They've done something about their weight, & it's working for them. They're losing weight & gaining health & fitness, & they inspire me. The trouble is, sometimes I feel the inspiration but don't act on it. I'm a lazy slug, & I'm sick & tired of it.
There've been times in the past when I've restarted, & I've longed for someone with whom I can exercise in person, even once a week. That's not happened, although people are willing in other towns. With gas the price it is these days, though, I just can't afford to be going off to another town to meet up with people. I have to do it here, and so I've scheduled exercise into my days. If I put something on my schedule, I almost always follow through with it.
Goals have been set, & I'm thining of things with which to treat myself at the reaching of those goals.
Today I attempted the first day of C25K - Couch To 5 K. I downloaded the free app for it on my phone. Trouble was, I went in the middle of the day when it was humid, & grass had been freshly mowed. I don't do weel in humidity - my asthma acts up - & I'm allergic to freshly cut grass. I also attempted this on a surface that was far too uneven for such a thing. I only made it through the first 10 minutes before I stopped. My breathing was way too heavy, and my lungs were sore. I knew it was time to stop.
My new attempt at the first time for this will be early tomorrow morning on the local high school track. That'll be a much better surface for this, and my allergies shouldn't be affected by anything that early.
I am determined to do this, to be a C25K graduate, & in 8 weeks, I plan to come here and celebrate. By then I'll have thought of a reward for myself, & I'm looking forward to it!! :)