Well, I haven't blogged in over a month now and since then everything has gone fairly badly. I was motivated post holidays to get back on track and did well for only about two weeks and since, I just can't seem to get back in the groove and/or find my motivation to treat my body the way it deserves to be treated. Every day I wake up and say this is the day; I do well for most of the day and after dinner is usually when it falls apart. Then there's multiple celebrations that have been happening..... birthdays, bridal showers, weddings, graduations, most recently Memorial Day. I know those are not going to go away. If you are living there will always be a holiday, there will always be something to celebrate, and I've drilled it into my head more times than one can imagine, that everything can be done in moderation, yet lately, I haven't done that either. Why????? I don't have the answer. And I continue to to my daily walking ( I thank God and my dog for that) otherwise, I would have slid much farther than I have, but I really need to find a way to reign in all of those bad habits to which I am reverting. I feel guilt, disappointment, anger frustration, all in the name of not having enough self control to turn this around, yet I still sit here stuck in this quandry of what to do and how to help myself.
I'm a great one for dishing out advice, yet I don't listen to my own words. Spring is here, summer is upon us. I desire to eat better, to feel better, to look better. All that will lead to better heath and more happiness....... so what's stopping me???? I DON'T KNOW!!
I keep thinking that I need to find a streak perhaps to commit myself to, but I think that's where I'm lacking. I'm not finding the strength within myself. So perhaps a team that will force me to commit to some type of challenge to push me and to motivate me. I know I've found strength in groups before, and I think that is a major reason that I found success with Spark before. Advice and encouragement that I have gotten from friends and members helped me lose weight when I started, but now even that doesn't seem to be striking the right nerve.
Please let me know if there is anyone out there that would like to join me in some type of "group project" to lay it all down and start fresh and commit to healthy eating, exercise and a goal to lose some weight. I just can't trust myself to do this alone.
I blogged in the past about so many Sparkfriends that have disappeared over the year. I think when I was motivating and encouraging them I found the strength to keep myself on track, but now they are gone, and I feel myself slipping away too. I don't want this to happen. I promised myself and many other people as well, that "I will not go back there"
So today is a new week, a new day, a new chance. I'm going to search the teams, hopefully, find something that will suit my needs, but in the meantime, I am open to suggestions and advice, but mostly am hoping to find a few people who would like to join me in a "Welcome Summer" challenge that will get us and keep us motivated and will help on this ever long and difficult journey. Come on Spark people..... let's do ourselves proud. Let's try to put into practice everything we have learned ; most especially to never give up!!