Hooray for Me!!
Monday, June 09, 2014
I have been attending Intensive Outpatient Therapy at a local facility that is a rehab center specifically for women and only eating disorders.
I have been an emotional eater probably since the first time my mom put a bottle in my mouth but it evolved into a full blown binge eating disorder about 8 or 9 years ago and i put on a huge amount of weight and as hard as i have tried i was never able to lose weight AND keep it off until i started this program. I am far from perfect but i learn something new every day and continue to make headway so i am slowly losing weight.
I was so proud of myself tonight because i had a difficult day at work and decided i was going to have a binge. I was planning on a frozen pizza and a dessert from the bakery. I looked around the bakery and truly could not find anything worth it. I then went to the freezer section and nothing was there either. It was finally down to a boxed cake or cookie dough and with much debate i chose the cookie dough. as i was checking out i told the cashier i changed my mind and didn't want the cookie dough, i already changed my mind about the pizza because i have the stuff at home for an english muffin pizza so i could save some money and A LOT of calories.
As much as i did and do still want to binge this is actually the first time that i had the food in my hand and consciously said no to a binge. I still want to stuff my face full of food but FINALLY i am saying NO! it has taken me the better part of a decade but i am finally gaining control!