Bad Things Come in Threes
Saturday, June 28, 2014
I was going to write a blog about the last two weeks in Rocky Mountain National Park, and upload some pictures, but my heart is heavy. I'm sorry this blog will be a downer.
My father died on May 11, 2013 from cancer that invaded the nerves in his face.
My former sister-in-law, married to my brother for 15 years, died of skin cancer on August 13, 2013 at the age of 51.
Yesterday my mother was positively diagnosed with Stage 3 lung cancer. She never smoked a cigarette in her 80 years on the planet.
She's been told it is incurable but treatable, but the "treatment" is the same that my dad got: chemo and radiation. It added possibly 6 months to my dad's life but they were miserable months. He was disfigured by the radiation, went blind, eating was an ordeal, and he even couldn't talk without pain. He wouldn't go to church and rarely left the house because of the way he looked.
So now this.
My mom has already hinted that she might not agree to treatment because of what my dad went through, and the cancer isn't curable. She worries that she doesn't have anyone to give her the 24/7 care that she gave my dad.
Of course, we are in early stages. Mom had an MRI and PET scan a few days ago but the "team" hasn't had time to put together a treatment plan yet.
As for me, this trip is quickly losing its luster, but there's nothing I can do right now, even if we were to go home to Arkansas. I've offered to go back to Michigan to stay with her when/if it becomes apparent she needs someone. Right now she says NO, she's doing fine, and the two siblings who still live in Michigan are taking time off work to ferry her to appointments. Mom is very independent and I'm betting she'll go into a hospice facility before she'll "inconvenience" any of us to keep her in her home.
Also up in the air is our huge and expensive trip to Nepal and India in October/November.
My head is just swirling, and it's hard to wrap my mind around the whole thing.
AND, here's a weird coincidence. My dad was told on January 15, 2013 that his cancer had recurred and he decided not to pursue further treatment. My granddaughter was born 10 days later. It was so hard to be both happy and sad at the same time.
But guess what? After I got the email from my sister yesterday outlining mom's condition, my daughter called to say she was pregnant with her second child!
A bittersweet day, to be sure.