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Bad Things Come in Threes

Saturday, June 28, 2014

I was going to write a blog about the last two weeks in Rocky Mountain National Park, and upload some pictures, but my heart is heavy. I'm sorry this blog will be a downer.

My father died on May 11, 2013 from cancer that invaded the nerves in his face.

My former sister-in-law, married to my brother for 15 years, died of skin cancer on August 13, 2013 at the age of 51.

Yesterday my mother was positively diagnosed with Stage 3 lung cancer. She never smoked a cigarette in her 80 years on the planet.

She's been told it is incurable but treatable, but the "treatment" is the same that my dad got: chemo and radiation. It added possibly 6 months to my dad's life but they were miserable months. He was disfigured by the radiation, went blind, eating was an ordeal, and he even couldn't talk without pain. He wouldn't go to church and rarely left the house because of the way he looked.

So now this.

My mom has already hinted that she might not agree to treatment because of what my dad went through, and the cancer isn't curable. She worries that she doesn't have anyone to give her the 24/7 care that she gave my dad.

Of course, we are in early stages. Mom had an MRI and PET scan a few days ago but the "team" hasn't had time to put together a treatment plan yet.

As for me, this trip is quickly losing its luster, but there's nothing I can do right now, even if we were to go home to Arkansas. I've offered to go back to Michigan to stay with her when/if it becomes apparent she needs someone. Right now she says NO, she's doing fine, and the two siblings who still live in Michigan are taking time off work to ferry her to appointments. Mom is very independent and I'm betting she'll go into a hospice facility before she'll "inconvenience" any of us to keep her in her home.

Also up in the air is our huge and expensive trip to Nepal and India in October/November.

My head is just swirling, and it's hard to wrap my mind around the whole thing.

AND, here's a weird coincidence. My dad was told on January 15, 2013 that his cancer had recurred and he decided not to pursue further treatment. My granddaughter was born 10 days later. It was so hard to be both happy and sad at the same time.

But guess what? After I got the email from my sister yesterday outlining mom's condition, my daughter called to say she was pregnant with her second child!

A bittersweet day, to be sure.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm a little late in reading this, I am so sorry to hear about your mother. I try to check in to see your latest adventure. My children's grandma Grace had lung cancer and never smoked a day in her life either but others she was around did. Life can be so cruel at times.
    2332 days ago
    Wow, Nanette! What a whirlwind of emotions you are dealing with! My grandmother died about 3 weeks before my granddaughter was born, and it's as if her spirit lives on in Kate. I hope that is what happens with your new grandbaby, too. And that your mom makes a wise choice for her future. Whatever happens, you will be there to help in any way you can, even if it's letter from far away places. Praying for you and your family.
    2342 days ago
  • MARYINFL2000
    I am sorry to hear about your mom in addition to you other losses. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family. Thankfully you have other joy as well, and maybe that will be just what is needed (possibly by your mom as well) to celebrate the circle of life and all the joys and happiness there has been. You hsve been blessed in many ways.

    2343 days ago
    You are in my thoughts and prayers as your family goes through all of this!
    2343 days ago
  • BUTTERFLY-1976
    I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom (((Hugs)))

    2345 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8158758
    So sorry to hear about your Mom. Try to have a good trip best you can. I'm sure she'd want that for you. Take care.
    2345 days ago
    Hold on to those good things - that new little one will add so much joy to your life in the future! So very, very sorry about your MOM. emoticon
    2345 days ago
    Wow, what a mix of emotions. So sorry to hear about your mom. emoticon

    Life is just hard sometimes. Wish I had words to say to make things better.

    Prayers for her & you!!
    2345 days ago
    My heart goes out to you. emoticon
    There will always be blessings to balance this pain.
    Congratulations to your daughter.
    2346 days ago
  • SUGAR0814
    So sorry to hear about your mom. Keeping your family in my prayers.
    2346 days ago
    I am so sorry to read this very sad news. My best to you and your family with the many decisions to be made. emoticon
    2346 days ago
  • NANCY-
    My head would be swirling too.
    First of all congrats on your daughters news, when is the expected arrival?
    Secondly sorry to hear about your mom's cancer.
    It is difficult situation, but follow your heart.
    2346 days ago
    So sorry to hear this sad news...I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
    2346 days ago
    Oh...so much to deal with and process. When my Mom got the news about lung cancer, she was not sure about treatment because of what her brother experienced in the 1920's. I told her that treatment was so different now. I said you could try a treatment and if you do not like it you can stop. She did well and lived 18+ months longer. It was quality time. Each person responds to treatment differently and she needs to decide what is best for her. Will be praying for her and your whole family. Blessings.... emoticon emoticon
    2347 days ago
    I'm so sorry to hear about your sad news. So much to deal with all at once! My heart goes out to you.
    2347 days ago
    I don't have the words I want to offer you comfort. Your blog brought tears to my eyes. It is truly hard (impossible?) to be sad and happy at the same time. Trusting you will find your way forward. Be gentle with yourself during this difficult time. Take good care of yourself during this time. -Marsha
    2347 days ago
    Hugs to you my friend. Indeed a bittersweet day. I am so sorry about your mom. I know you will be there for her in any way you can. Life seems so unfair that she was a non smoker and got lung cancer. Take care of yourself. This is very hard. Many prayers and warm thoughts going to you.
    2347 days ago
    Oh wow. *HUGS* emoticon
    2347 days ago
    I'm so sorry your heart is heavy today.
    Sending prayers.
    2347 days ago
    Oh my dear friend,
    I am sorry about your bad news.
    My head would be swirling, too!
    What an emotional roller coaster your life is right now.
    Take care of yourself at this difficult time and try to salvage what joy you can put of the rest of your trip.
    2347 days ago
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