Depression

Today... I had a harsh slap in the face. My reality has been set forth a head of me. I realized just why I am as fat as I am. Each month I've been spending approx. $500 on food on eating out vs. cooking home cooked meals for myself and family. I am so disgusted by this number that I realized I need help. Not only am I wasting money we don't have... I am making very poor choices for my own health. I am so disgusted with myself... I sat and cried. This is not who I want to be or become. I have been posting just a bunch of crap that people wanted to hear over the past several years... and I don't think I actually believed anything I typed. I think I was full of myself. Saying I would do all these things... and no end result. I can't keep doing this to myself and my family. I think I'm ruining my relationship with my husband. My kids are annoyed by me... I NEED to make a change and that change starts NOW.