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Sad Summer

Saturday, August 02, 2014

Well, although I had some exciting trips - Israel and Europe, there has been a lot of loss for me in the span of a few weeks. I am afraid it does come with aging these losses. As I get older, in my sixties, the things around me age as well. Does this fact help me except loss, well not really. It is always difficult.

Just a week before our Europe vacation my husband's father became gravely ill and we stood by his bed side as he had his oxygen cut off and chose to pass away. He was cremated and next week is his Celebration of Life.

Just after returning from Europe our beloved cat Cocoa, a thirteen year old Himalayan/Siamese cross, took another turn for the worse. He had liver disease, pancreatitis, cancer and was literally wasting away. Yesterday, we had the awful decision whether to be merciful and put him down or be selfish and have him for maybe a week or so longer in our lives. He made it hard the morning we took him in because he was still with the little strength he had so loving. Well, that is what a cat will do to the very end they will love you. I know we did the right thing but it was the hardest thing and I wish Cocoa could have told me what he wanted. We had a very compassionate vet who kissed Cocoa's head like we did. I plan to take his cat things to the SPCA today. One because I can't bear to see them and another because Cocoa will be helping other cats. We have a beautiful cat tree condo that we will attempt to get in our car.

Ever since our cat got sick two years age he has been going downhill. Would you believe he would no longer eat cat food and I had to buy him barbeque chicken and unsalted chicken broth? Kind of embarrassing at the store when people ask if you are making chicken for dinner and you have to admit it is for the cat. No, I don't recommend feeding cats human food but if they are going to starve themselves well you have to.

Sorry, for this sad post but I wanted you to know what is going on in my life and why I haven't been on Spark much. I plan to change this. I don't want to let my Peppers down in any way.

I admit I did have some chocolate yesterday but it didn't ease the pain. I guess time will do that.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SUNNY10K
    Hi Wendy, Sorry to hear that you are feeling so sad. Although loss is part of all our lives - be it family, friends or fur kids - it still really hurts. Allow yourself to mourn but try to find those happy memories too that bring a smile to your face.

    Cats have very distinct personalities and I am sure that with time the hurt you are feeling now will lessen. You will come to realize that he is no longer in pain and you did right by him.

    The sun will shine again. emoticon
    2429 days ago
    Wendy, i am truly sorry !
    2431 days ago
  • HOLLYM48
    emoticon emoticon emoticon I am so sorry for the losses in your life. Hold the memories close to your heart and the people and the animals you love will always be with you!
    2441 days ago
    Sorry for your loses. Some times life is just sad for us. We are lucky to have others to help us through the tough times.
    emoticon emoticon
    2441 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8522718
    So sorry to hear about the losses you have had to endure. It is so hard to put a cat down or a dog. They are our family members.
    I am so glad that you put him down instead of letting him live and enduring more pain, you are right, it would be selfish to let him live like that.
    You ABSOLUTELY did the right thing to put Cocoa down.
    I wish I could give you a big hug!

    2442 days ago
    So sorry for your losses. emoticon emoticon
    2445 days ago
    Sorrow seems to come in waves. Decisions about death are always difficult. Glad you are planning to still Spark while you are grieving.
    2446 days ago
    Loss is the most difficult thing to face. Sorry this hasn't been an ideal summer. I understand why you haven't been on spark much. Take as much time as you need. We do look forward to your blogs and your presence around here.

    2447 days ago
    So glad your trips were "GREAT"...
    So sorry for your losses..
    Why does losing the companionship of our loved ones (2 or 4 footed) have to hurt so very much. They say time heals wounds.. but for me... I am still waiting for that time. The wounds still hurt but I do have spells where I can ignore the wounds and relax in some measure of peace.
    Take care
    Hugs, Audra
    2447 days ago
    emoticon emoticon So sorry for your losses, Reffie. You're right. Chocolate doesn't make it better. Time helps the focus shift to the good memories, though. Now is the time to look sadness in the face and as you said, accept that these things are a part of life.
    2447 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/2/2014 1:29:48 PM
    I am so sorry, Reffie. I have missed you. I am sorry for the loss of your father in law, so sad. I lost my 17 year old cat almost exactly one year ago to kidney failure, and I had to make the hard decision also. She was a very special cat to me, I rescued her from the vet hospital that I worked at when she was a tiny kitten that had been hit by a car and abandoned. I was so upset when the time came, that I had to ask the vet to take her to the back room to "do the deed", despite the fact that I was a veterinary technician for 12 years that often assisted with or administered euthanasia myself at work. I just couldn't handle watching her die at my decision. (still feel guilty about that) Ugh. Euthanasia of a beloved pet is never, ever easy. We buried her next to our front porch so I see the grave every time I go into our house, and I have a big pot of flowers here for her. (great, now I am tearing up) emoticon

    Time will ease the pain, but you will never forget your special kitty.
    Take extra special care of yourself during this time.
    emoticon emoticon

    2447 days ago
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