Second time around
Tuesday, August 05, 2014
Life is full of second chances. I think it took me a few tries to quit smoking, but I quit and I stayed quit and I've been quit since some time in like 2003.
So why did I stop? What killed the motivation? Insert about 1000 excuses here, right? I'll give you the big ones - the ones that I think had the most impact on me, as a person, and took all the focus away from my focusing on myself and my health.
1) I bought the little house. This wasn't the best idea. It was far too much to take on since it needed too much work. I did it alone and it upset my sweetheart since he wasn't properly considered in the decision. Then he broke his hip. So we had me with my ACL recovery and he with his broken hip and hurt feelings. Not a setting for cooperation on the house. Also the kitchen was antiquated and there was no dishwasher. I could no longer cook from scratch the way I had been cooking in order to lose weight.
2) I signed up to volunteer with the dog rescue. I had been volunteering with the cat rescue previously, and that had always gone well in the past, but now I signed on for dog rescue, and not only that, I became the president of the organization that was dysfunctional from the start and took a lot of work to get it running more smoothly. From the time I joined until the time I quit, rejoined and then closed the rescue, it sucked every waking free minute I had, and many of my free pennies, too. The stress was so great that only now, years later, am I starting to think it might be nice to volunteer for the cat rescue again. Many nights I didn't have time to cook or sometimes even eat.
3) After the dog rescue, I became the team leader of my department at work and managed the day to day operation of around 20 people. Also hiring duties, etc. When I left, I drafted a new org chart and replaced myself with 6 people. More stress and lack of time.
4) I have a chronic autoimmune condition and I'm on prednisone. I thought I'd wait until I was taken off of prednisone to focus on my weight, but now I realize that this may never happen so I need to focus on my weight and health now.
I think everyone has challenges. I had to identify mine before I could do anything about them. Closing the dog rescue was the best thing I have ever done for my happiness, relationship and sanity. Getting a new job was the 2nd best thing because without that, I wouldn't have had enough time to realize any next steps that had to happen or what things needed to be worked on in my life - because my life had just become work. Moving in with my sweetheart has made me very happy and gives my days meaning. We help each other and after 13 years, I'm still just so happy to see him when he gets home. Health problems continue, but losing weight may improve these and I'm excited to find out.
So, lets get this party started.