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Sunday, September 14, 2014

I have gained even more weight.. I'm closer to 275 now.. And I hate it! I hate my body nowadays, I'm so physically uncomfortable and also emotionally distraught about it. I've been dealing with depression for the last couple months. I said I was coming back here when I posted at the end of July, but I didn't.

So this week my mother and her husband are visiting us and we've taken a bunch of pictures. I've seen some extremely unflattering pictures of myself. Yeah.. So that helps. I'll see if I can post anything here from my phone.

I still need your support and your help. When I finally manage to come back here regularly, I will try to be a supportive friend back to you.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hi Angel. How does the belly feel, bigger like its suffocating you? That is what happened to me. When the sun started going down earlier in the day I found myself eating more and lying on the sofa with my Husband for comfort.

    My breaking points have been:
    Not being able to buy flattering clothes to wear.

    My Cousin posted on Facebook that fat people lack "self-discipline" and have no "self-respect". This statement ran through me, made sense, and it started a flood of anger. It rang so true to me because I tend to be a bit self centered, couldn't believe it, but you cannot argue that.

    Are you worth it ?

    What else in your life is pulling you into auto-pilot and the only satisfaction and peace you have to turn is your food addiction?

    For me growing up my Mom was not the nurturing type, but boy could she cook. We ate and that was my comfort.

    I won't have it anymore, I am turning 45 next Month. My Dad died at 42 and I want to live a long life to be "106". There is no way I am going to get there like this.

    Stay with us, check in everyday and commit. I am also considering going to therapy for over eating. The Health System in my area just opened up an entire center regarding over eating and God is calling me to it.

    Would that work for you too?

    I feel what you are going through - I'm there with you. emoticon

    2302 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/28/2014 9:03:27 AM
    I hope you can make it back. It isn't easy, but we are here!
    2307 days ago
    emoticon back. Here when you are ready.
    2315 days ago
    Self hate and loathing for past behavior won't help. You need to let it go to give yourself the best opportunity to learn the information to make better choices so change is possible. Tell your inner self to shush.
    Every time you make a good choice you will feel better. It can all start with a glass of water. When you feel better, you will feel like making another good choice. It's a snowball effect.
    2315 days ago
    emoticon We are here when you are ready.
    2316 days ago
    I will always be here to support you! emoticon
    2316 days ago
    Hi there! Yes...we can all use some support and motivation! I know what it is like to feel totally out of control of your weight. I also finally made up my mind to lose weight when I saw some very unflattering pictures of myself. It is very hard when the you feel your inside person does not match up with your outside person. Just remember you can do it!!! I have to remind myself that I am stronger than that bag of chips or box of cookies calling me!! I can be such a control freak over many things but it seemed eating was not one of them! I just have to remind myself that I am in control of my choices, and that includes what I eat and if I exercise. Something that has worked for me is setting small goals that don't totally focus on my weight. Such as cutting sugar out of my coffee, or if I don't feel like exercising after a long work day I will do 10-15 minutes of stretching. I was amazed that many small changes can lead up to a big change. I had to remember that I did not gain weight overnight and so it will not go away overnight. Weight loss is a journey and I intend to make it through. You can too!
    2316 days ago
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