The past few days I've been struggling with some pretty negative feelings - things like feeling "less than", feeling inadequate and like a misfit - like I don't fit anywhere - remembering old hurtful things that people said even from when I was young and refeeling some of the shame from those comments. Boy, once that starts, it can be a pretty quick downward spiral. I know what started it - I handled a situation poorly when I was out shopping on Sunday and I was embarrassed at how I handled it. Then old feelings of shame came back up and it went down from there. What's ironic, is that even though I was in the wrong on Sunday, the old feelings of shame weren't from something I had done wrong - they were more of just hurtful things said to me.
About halfway through the day, I started to come out of it. I was listening to music at work and one of the songs was Jamie Grace's "Every Bit of Lovely". It was a great reminder that I'm God's original work of art - quirks and all. I am not perfect and never will be. But that doesn't make me of any less value.
And then one of my SparkFriends left this quote on my SparkPage:
“Stop wasting so much energy hating your body; it makes you weaker.
Everything good in your life begins from the moment you begin accepting, understanding, respecting, and loving your true self.”
Thanks PIXIE-LICIOUS! I needed that reminder today and when I read it, I thought of it in terms of not just to stop wasting so much energy hating my body but also hating (or feeling ashamed) of who I am. Yep, I've wasted enough energy on that.
And then my SparkFriend DAISYBELLEKIA posted a blog on change and it had this quote in it:
So true! If all you look at is the rear-view mirror when you're driving, the only place you'll end up is in the back end of another car. The same goes with life. I think it's good to learn from our past, but not to live in the past. And that's what I've been doing the past few days.
But now I'm done. My past may have shaped me, but it doesn't need to define me. God's already done that and through His eyes - I'm pretty awesome.
Thanks my SparkFriends - you never know when something you post hits someone right where they are - when your words might just be what that person needs at that moment. Your sharing part of you can have a huge impact in someone else's life.
I know I have been truly blessed time and time again here.