Monday, October 13, 2014
Today is an interesting day for me. It is the two-year mark on my original weight loss goal of 50 lbs. My best friend's wedding was coming up, and she had asked me to be in the wedding party. I had already been the maid of honor at my sister and college roommate's wedding as the only attendant, and I had a less-than-fantastic time being self-conscious about being overweight next to two beautiful women on their big day. Who in the world thinks about themselves at a time like that? I didn't like that feeling, so when my best friend asked me to be in her wedding, I vowed to never feel embarrassed and ashamed in someone's wedding picture ever again. I started with spark people in Jan. 2012 and by October, I had lost my 50 lbs, which was all I ever wanted. I felt great at the wedding and I could actually concentrate on the important person, the bride!
After that, my then husband said, "You can go for more, if you want," in a loving way, of course, and I got up to an 80-lb weight loss over time. I went from a high of 219 to a low of 135, and I felt confident, strong, and sexy. I couldn't have done it without his constant support (I was also going to grad school at the time), and spark people community.
Since two years ago, my life has changed so much. My husband and i have divorced, I'm facing life single (with a master's degree) and simultaneously scared and excited about how life will be in this body. I'm nervous about dating, but excited at the same time.
During the separation, my old habits of social eating crept in because my friends rallied around me to get me out of the house, which always involves food, right? I'm fighting the last 10 lbs. to get me where I want to be, 138-141, and even though I am celebrating a huge milestone today, I am fighting my old emotional-eating self sometimes in my fragile emotional state.
I am so happy and thankful for sparkers and the spark community. Although I did regain some of my "bonus" lbs, I have never regained any of my original goal of fifty, and I want to remember that that is a huge win in the weight loss game of life.