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I have a problem with alcohol....

Monday, October 20, 2014

July 30 days AF, August 19 days AF, September 21 days AF

9- 30 AF tred mill 7.0 miles at 3.5 mph and at 3% incline for 3.5miles!
10-1 mod 2/3 rds (750ml)bottle of cider dumped out the rest on 10-6!
10-2 AF tred mill... 7.0 miles at 3.5 mph and at 3% incline for 3.5miles! tired tonight
10-3 DD 2 pints of cider and 3 twisted teas
10-4 AF walked an outside track 7 miles in 2 hours. yeah!
10-5 DD 2 pints of cider 1 twisted tea then 3 beers at home...walked in the neighbor hood beautiful day.
10-6 AF tred mill 8 miles, 2 hours 18 minutes 3.5 mph with an average incline of 3% or so.
10-7 AF
10-8 AF tred mill 6.4 miles 0% incline very tired
10-9 DD 2 pints of 8% beer and 3 glasses of wine, sigh
10-10 DD 1 beer 8%, 50 ounces of 8% ciders festival food
10-11 DD 2 pints of cider and 2 x1.5 oz small bloody mary's
10-12 Mod 1 beer 8% beer, tred mill 7 miles 2 hours 0% incline
10-13 DD 32 oz of 8 % cidars in a short amount of time
10-14 AF walked on tred mill 9 miles 2 hours and 35 minutes
10-15 DD 32 oz of 8% ciders
10-16 AF walked on tred mill 3.6 miles in an hour
10-17 DD 24 oz of 8% ciders and 2- 6% beers
10-18 DD Tred mill 1 hour, 3.6 miles 1 glass of wine guzzled, 2 beers 8oz or 8% cider
10-19 DD 40 oz of 6% beer with a big meal Out of town then 1 beer at home

A lot of the time we are going out to eat and drink making bad food choices. Think of all of the money we are spending. I need to stop this madness. I am bipolar and have to think that this is messing with my meds, psychiatrist would be furious if she knew how much that I was drinking. I am mad at myself for it. I just can't seem to control myself. I have a walk coming this saturday. I want to walk tonight on the tred mill one more long walk and need to be level headed and feeling good. Did not sleep well last night.
I need to be AF this week.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I am so sorry that you're having such a tough time. Don't give up, you can get through this my friend. Good luck on your walk!
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    2362 days ago
  • _CYNDY55_
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    2364 days ago
  • CAROL_31649731
    I can sooo emphathize. Lots of hugs being sent your way!!!!! Good luck . . . I'm always in your corner! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
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    2364 days ago
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    2365 days ago
  • MRTHING2000
    emoticon It is a struggle for many of us. It is a social lubricant and an escape. And it is addictive for many.
    2365 days ago
    (((hugs))) Keep working at it, Bizi! You need to get back on a positive streak!
    2365 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2772872
    Bizi I am so sorry you are going through this. I know how hard it can be to get a handle on the drinking. For me, I fear I have done real damage to my stomach from drinking. Had drinks Saturday night and spent the day in the ER yesterday from vomiting for 12 hours from a few glasses of wine. I had to get three liters of fluid. I have never been so miserable.

    I know you can do this. You have done it before. You do inspire me and give me hope. Believe in yourself.

    2365 days ago
    I can certainly sympathize with your situation. For me it got to the point where I spent a lot of time worrying about how much I was drinking, planning on when I could drink, and trying to justify to myself how I "deserved" drinking days. It began to feel eerily just like the struggles I have with overeating.

    I ended up deciding to just give it up. I got tired of letting myself down, time and time again, because I was unable to control my intake once I had a drink or two in me. I got tired of thinking about it!! So now I just don't drink and it's a non-issue, and I don't have to be disappointed with myself anymore.

    I wish you the best on your journey, making changes can be hard but they can really be worth it! emoticon
    2365 days ago
    Thank you for your honesty...that took courage! You can do this...one day at a time!
    2365 days ago
    emoticon The first step is recognizing you want to change and you have.
    2365 days ago
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