"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish." John Quincy Adams
I'll admit it--the reason I initially started to run was to prove to myself that I couldn't be a runner. Negative, yep. But that;s what it was, until I discovered that I enjoyed it. It has the magical affect of bringing me peace in an otherwise chaotic day. I also remember all the bumps and bruises and obstacles I faced along the way. And people telling me I can't run because I have fibromyalgia. And everytime, I thought I was going to quit, but I kept trying. And the physical and mental injuries from last summer, and then the doctor telling me I couldn't run anymore. But still, I kept trying. It was hard and it hurt, but I fought through each mile.
All of these things played through my mind on October 11, when I participated in my 23rd 5K race, and finished the race, with no walking breaks and a new personal record time. I realize this might not seem like a big deal to most people. To me, though, it finally beat down that negative voice in my head that kept telling me I couldn't do it. When I crossed that finish line, I was as happy as I was when I crossed the finish at my first 5K. Ironically, on October 11, 2008, this same race was my first 5K race, which made this victory even sweeter. And last weekend, when I lined up for the Great Pumpkin Challenge 5K, I did so knowing that I had the ability to run without walking, and I did, even in a torrential downpour.
For me, losing weight was the easy part. The difficulty came in defeating the negative voice in my head that told me I can't do it, that I'm not worth it, that I'm not good enough.
I think I'm finally there--I made it. When I finished that race on October 11, I kicked that voice to the curb once and for all. I CAN be a runner, I CAN run a whole 5K race. I CAN do anything I set my mind to. Sometimes being stubborn trumps anything else that gets in the way.